I am a mother three times over, and a wife just once. So far.

I was born in 1975 via emergency cesarian. This hasn’t affected me at all; well, except that given the choice, I’d rather leave the house through the window than the door.

My parents had a lot of sex. Just not with each other. I have 9 siblings, and I know 2 of them.

I was raised in one of the more awesome Judeao Christian cults. And then I got a sex drive. And then I choiced out.

I moved to Colorado in 1992. After a good bout with altitude sickness and a wee bit of frostbite, I realized that you can get drunk way faster one mile up. Denver is awesome and and I decided to stay for a while. Until I moved to Canada. Maple syrup is good.

I met a boy in 1996 and forced him, totally against his will, to have sex with me. Shortly thereafter, I got my engagement ring. It weighs 75 pounds, stand 4 feet tall and smells a bit off, 10 years later.

I think I am funnier than I am. I imagine that I have great taste in music. I can cook, just not cookies.