12/29/1969 - Born - Terik the Great <br />12/30/1948 - Born - NWA Chief Referee Fred Richards <br />12/30/1970 - Born - Curtis Slamdawg <br />12/31/1974 - Born - Sakoda <br />12/31/1975 - Born - Madonna Wayne Garcy <br />12/31/1990 - Died - Ed the Bull Gantner of kidney disease at 31 <br />12/31/1998 - Died - Sam Mushnick of internal bleeding at 93 <br />01/01/1943 - Born - Jimmy Hart <br />01/01/1955 - Died - The Canadian Angel, Q-Ball Jack Rush <br />01/02/1897 - Born - Jim Londos in Argos, Greece <br />01/02/1969 - Born - Jimmy Cicero <br />01/02/1972 - Born - Joe Storm <br />01/03/1952 - Born - Jim Ross <br />01/03/1967 - Born - Brian Day <br />01/03/1997 - Died - Rick Martello at 38 <br />01/04/1970 - Born - Kanyon <br />01/04/2001 - Died - Villano I, Jose de Jesus Diaz Mendoza, of a heart attack at age 54

12/29/1937 - Lou Thesz defeated Everett Marshall for the NWA Heavyweight Wrestling title <br />12/29/1985 - Stan Hansen defeated Rick Martel for the AWA Heavyweight title <br />12/29/1991 - Event - Starrcade, The Scope, Norfolk, VA <br />12/29/1995 - Mikey Whipwresk & Cactus Jack defeated Sandman & 2 Cold Scorpio for the ECW Tag Team title <br />12/29/1996 - Event - Starrcade, Coliseum, Nashville, TN <br />12/29/1996 - Eddy Guerrero defeated Diamond Dallas Page in a tournament final for the WCW U.S. Heavyweight title <br />12/29/1996 - Ultimo Dragon defeated Dean Melanko for the WCW Cruiserweight title <br />12/29/1997 - Booker T defeated disco inferno for the WCW Television title <br />12/29/1997 - Ultimo Dragon defeated Eddy Guerrero for the WCW Cruiserweight title <br />12/29/1998 - Mankind defeated Rocky Maivia for the WWF World Heavyweight title <br />12/29/1998 - Doug Basham defeated Rip Rogers for the Ohio Valley Heavyweight title <br />12/30/1972 - Verne Gagne & Billy Robinson defeated Nick Bockwinkel & Ray Stevens for the AWA Tag Team title <br />12/30/1989 - King Cobra defeated Jerry Lawler for the USWA Unified Heavyweight title <br />12/30/1992 - Big Van Vader defeated Ron Simmons for the WCW Heavyweight title <br />12/30/2000 - Event - King of the Indies Tournament, Galt, CA <br />12/30/2003 - Rey Mysterio, Jr. defeated Tajiri for the WWE Cruiserweight title<br />01/01/1963 - Ivan & Karol Kalmikoff defeated Doug Gilbert & Dick Steinborn for the AWA Tag Team title <br />01/01/1982 - Dick the Bruiser defeated Ken Patera for the Missouri State Heavyweight title <br />01/01/1986 - Dick Slater defeated Butch Reed for the Mid-South North American Heavyweight title <br />01/01/1996 - Billionaire Ted, The Huckster and the Nacho Man debut on Monday Night Raw <br />01/01/1997 - Brian Christopher defeated Wolfie D for the USWA Southern Heavyweight title <br />01/02/1990 - Arn Anderson defeated the Great Muta for the NWA Television title <br />01/03/1994 - USWA Tag Team title held up <br />01/03/1997 - Danny Christian & Johnny Thunder defeated Justin St. John & Butch Black (subbing for Steve Flynn) for the SSW Tag Team title <br />01/03/1999 - Rip Rogers defeated Doug Basham for the Ohio Valley Heavyweight title <br />01/03/2000 - Triple H defeated the Big Show for the WWF Heavyweight title <br />01/03/2000 - David Flair & Crowbar defeated Kevin Nash & Scott Steiner in a tournament final for the WCW Tag Team title <br />01/03/2001 - BJ Payne defeated Flash Flanagan in a singles match for the Ohio Valley Southern Heavyweight Tag Title and choose Damien as his co-holder <br />01/03/2004 - Hoss defeated Nigel McGuinness for the Heartland Wrestling Association Heavyweight Title <br />01/04/1929 - Gus Sonnenberg defeted Ed Strangler Lewis for the World's Heavyweight Wrestling title <br />01/04/1986 - Arn Anderson defeated Wahoo McDaniel in a tournament final for the NWA Television title <br />01/04/1992 - Riki Choshu defeated Tatsumi Fujinami for the IWGP Heavyweight title <br />01/04/1993 - The Great Muta defeated Masa Chono for the NWA Heavyweight Wrestling title <br />01/04/1996 - Nobuhiko Takada defeated the Great Muta for the IWGP Heavyweight title <br />01/04/1997 - Shotgun Saturday Night debuts from the Mirage Nightclub in New York <br />01/04/1999 - Hollywood Hogan defeated Kevin Nash for the WCW Heavyweight title <br />01/04/1999 - Keiji Muto defeated Scott Norton for the IWGP Heavyweight title <br />01/04/2000 - Kensuke Sasaki defeated Genichiro Tenryu for the IWGP Heavyweight title

12/23/1962 - Born - Keiji Muto aka the Great Muta <br />12/23/1974 - Born - Juventud Guerrera <br />12/24/1964 - Born - Andre Baker <br />12/24/1968 - Born - Johnny Lee <br />12/24/1969 - Born - Brad Anderson <br />12/25/1991 - Died - Wilbur Snyder of heart failure at 62 <br />12/25/2001 - Died - "Maniac" Mike Davis of a heart attack at 46 <br />12/26/1963 - Died - Georgeous George Wagner of a heart attack at 48 <br />12/26/1964 - Born - James Clontz <br />12/26/1968 - Born - Mideon <br />12/27/1966 - Born - Bill Goldberg <br />12/27/1966 - Died - Promoter Morris Segal at 69 <br />12/27/1971 - Born - Chyna <br />12/27/1991 - Died - Wilbur Snyder of heart failure at 62 <br />12/28/1954 - Born - Leaping Lanny Poffo aka the Genius <br />12/28/1953 - Born - Tatsumi Fujinami <br />12/28/1967 - Died - George Drake of a heart attack

12/22/2000 - Raven defeated Steve Blackman for the WWF Hardcore title <br />12/22/2000 - Mike Rapada (Colorado Kid) defeated Sabu for the NWA Heavyweight title <br />12/23/1999 - Mike Awesome defeated Masato Tanaka for the ECW World Heavyweight title <br />12/24/2000 - Controversial announcer Mark Madden was fired by WCW <br />12/25/1902 - Dan McLeod defeated Tom Jenkins for the American Heavyweight title <br />12/25/1968 - Rey Mendoza defeated Angel Blanco for the EMLL NWA Light Heavyweight title <br />12/25/1978 - Austin Idol defeated Jerry Lawler to win the Southern Heavyweight Title <br />12/25/1978 - Kevin Von Erich defeated Bruiser Brody to win the NWA American Title <br />12/25/1978 - Ernie Ladd defeated Ray Candy by forfeit to win his 4th Mid-South North American title <br />12/25/1978 - Jerry Stubbs defeated Assassin #1 to win the Mid-South Louisiana Title <br />12/25/1983 - Magnum T.A. & Mr. Wrestling II defeated Butch Reed & Jim Neidhart to win the Mid-South Tag Team Title <br />12/25/1984 - The Rock 'N' Roll Express defeated Ted DiBiase & Hercules Hernandez to win their 3rd Mid-South Tag Team Title <br />12/25/1987 - Dave Peterson defeated Bob Brown to win the NWA Central States Heavyweight Title <br />12/25/1994 - The Rock n' Roll Express defeated the Gangstas for the Smokey Mountain Tag Team title <br />12/26/1983 - The Iron Sheik defeated Bob Backlund for the WWF Heavyweight title <br />12/26/1988 - Event - Starrcade, The Scope, Norfolk, VA <br />12/26/1988 - Rick Steiner defeated Mike Rotundo for the NWA Television title <br />12/26/1990 - Tatsumi Fujinami defeated Riki choshu for the IWGP Heavyweight title <br />12/26/1993 - Terry Funk defeated Sabu for the ECW Heavyweight title <br />12/26/1994 - Jimmy & Ron Harris defeated the Moondogs for the USWA Tag Team title <br />12/26/1994 - PG-13 defeated Jimmy & Ron Harris for the USWA Tag Team title <br />12/26/1998 - Event - Starrcade, MCI Center, Washington, DC <br />12/26/1999 - Flash Flanagan defeated Rico Constantino for the Ohio Valley Heavyweight title <br />12/27/1987 - Marty Jannetty & Shawn Michaels defeated Dennis Condrey & Randy Rose for the AWA Tag Team title <br />12/27/1993 - Event - Starrcade, Independence Arena, Charlotte, NC <br />12/27/1993 - Ric Flair defeated Big Van Vader for the WCW Heavyweight title <br />12/27/1993 - Steve Austin defeated Dustin Rhodes for the WCW U.S. Heavyweight title <br />12/27/1994 - Event - Starrcade, Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, TN <br />12/27/1994 - Big Van Vader defeated Hacksaw Jim Duggan for the WCW U.S. Heavyweight title <br />12/27/1995 - Event - Starrcade, Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, TN <br />12/27/1995 - Ric Flair defeated Randy Savage for the WCW Heavyweight title <br />12/27/1995 - One Man Gang defeated Kensuke Sasaki for the WCW U.S. Heavyweight title <br />12/27/1998 - Kevin Nash defeated Goldberg for the WCW World Heavyweight title <br />12/28/1963 - Chris & John Tolos defeated Killer Kowalski & Gorilla Monsoon for the WWWF Tag Team title <br />12/28/1968 - Crusher & Dick the Bruiser defeated Mitsu Arakawa & Dr. Moto for the AWA Tag Team title <br />12/28/1992 - Event - Starrcade, The Omni, Atlanta, GA <br />12/28/1992 - Ron & Don Harris defeated the Moondogs for the USWA Tag Team title <br />12/28/1997 - Event - Starrcade, MCI Center, Washington, DC <br />12/28/1997 - Sting defeated Hulk hogan for the WCW Heavyweight title <br />12/28/1997 - Diamond Dallas Page defeated Curt Hennig for the WCW U.S. Heavyweight title <br />12/28/1998 - Scott Steiner defeated Konnan for the WCW Television title

<center><a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/probablyuncalledfor">Probably Uncalled For Season Finale!</a></center><br /><center>8:00pm Eastern / 5:00pm Pacific</center><br /><center>Live call-in # - (646)478-5145 - phones and chat room open duration of broadcast</center><br />Come join Thomas Keister and ppdingles tonight on the Season Finale of Probably Uncalled For, as they'll be digging into the by-now infamous shoe throwing incident in Iraq, Sarah Palin's church being the hottest place in Wasilla, some typical asinine behavior relating to the failed auto bailout, Diddy and Paris Hilton's stupid asses, the GTA IV defense being tried for the first time in court, the last Stupid Britain segment of 2008, education, and murders both unsolved and dubiously solved, along with the TBD topics we scour the world for. Thanks for making 2008 our biggest year yet, and help us close the book on our second season LIVE tonight on Blog Talk Radio!<br /><center><a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/probablyuncalledfor">

12/15/1963 - Died - Rikidozan of a fatal stabbing at 38 <br />12/15/1983 - Born - Rene Dupree <br />12/15/1998 - Died - Brady Boone in an auto accident at 40 <br />12/16/1917 - Died - Frank Gotch of uremic poisoning at 39 <br />12/16/1948 - Died - Ali Aliba, Larry LaBelle in a car crash at 40 <br />12/16/1966 - Born - Men's Teoh <br />12/16/1975 - Born - Brian Fury <br />12/16/1976 - Born - Logan Caine <br />12/16/2000 - Died - The Blue Demon of a heart attack at 78 <br />12/17/1969 - Born - Kiyoshi Tamura <br />12/17/1975 - Born - Brandon Bishop <br />12/17/1975 - Born - Merc the Cruiser <br />12/18/1948 - Died - Ali Aliba in an auto accident at 40 <br />12/18/1964 - Born - "Stone Cold" Steve Austin <br />12/18/1965 - Born - Terry Austin <br />12/18/1968 - Born - Maniac Mark Mustang <br />12/18/1971 - Born - Rob Van Dam <br />12/18/1975 - Born - Trish Stratus <br />12/20/1985 - Died - Tarzan Tyler in an auto accident <br />12/21/1965 - Born - Del Wilkes aka the Patriot, the Trooper

12/15/1996 - Event - In Your House VII, Auditorium, West Palm Beach, FL <br />12/15/1998 - Road Dogg defeated Big Bossman for the WWF Hardcore title <br />12/15/1999 - Jebediah Blackhawk & Trailer Park Trash defeated Rip Rogers & Jason Lee for the Ohio Valley Southern Heavyweight Tag Title <br />12/15/2000 - The Dudley Boyz and Tazz do a one-time return appearance for ECW to help the struggling company <br />12/15/2001 - Shinya Hashimoto defeated Steve Corino & Gary Steele in a 3-Way for the vacant NWA Heavyweight Wrestling title <br />12/15/2001 - Trent Acid defeated Ruckus to win the CZW and Big Japan Pro Wrestling Junior Heavyweight Titles <br />12/15/2001 - Adam Flash defeated Nick Berk and Nick Mondo in a three-way match for the Combat Zone World Ironman Title <br />12/15/2002 - Event - Armegeddon, Office Depot Center, Ft. Lauderdale, FL <br />12/15/2002 - Kurt Angle defeated The Big Show for the WWE Smackdown Heavyweight title <br />12/15/2002 - Triple H defeated Shawn Michaels for the WWE Raw World title <br />12/15/2002 - Booker T & Goldust defeated Chris Jericho & Christian, The Dudley Boyz, and William Regal & Lance Storm for the WWE Raw Tag Team title <br />12/16/1962 - Doug Gilbert & Dick Steinborn defeated Art & Stan Nielson for the AWA Tag Team title <br />12/16/1983 - Mike Rotondo defeated Greg Valentine in a tournament final for the Florida State Heavyweight title <br />12/16/1990 - Event - Starrcade, Keil Auditorium, St. Louis, MO <br />12/16/1990 - Lex Luger defeated Stan Hansen for the NWA U.S. Heavyweight title <br />12/16/1995 - NWA Champion Dan Severn won the UFC Ultimate Ultimate in Denver, CO <br />12/16/2003 - J.T. Stahr & T.J. Dalton defeated Johnny & Jason Riggs and Apollo & The Hussla for the Heartland Wrestling Association Tag Team Titles <br />12/17/1906 - Frank Gotch defeated Fred Beell for the American Heavyweight title <br />12/17/1995 - Event - In Your House V, Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, PA <br />12/17/1999 - Masato Tanaka defeated Mike Awesome for the ECW World Heavyweight title <br />12/17/2000 - Event - Starrcade, MCI Center, Washington, DC <br />12/17/2000 - Kevin Nash & Diamond Dallas Page defeated Chuck Palumbo & Sean Stasiak for the vacant WCW Tag Team title <br />12/17/2000 - Terry Funk defeated Crowbar for the WCW Hardcore title <br />12/18/1999 - Big Dick Dudley defeated Damien Steele for the XPW Heavyweight title <br />12/18/2000 - Undertaker & the Rock defeated Edge & Christian for the WWF Tag Team title <br />12/19/1969 - Carlos Elio Colisetti defeated Rey Mendoza for the EMLL NWA Light Heavyweight title <br />12/19/1985 - Dusty Rhodes defeated Buddy Landell for the Georgia National Heavyweight title <br />12/19/1994 - Tommy Rich defeated Brian Christopher for the USWA Southern Heavyweight title <br />12/19/1997 - Death & Destruction defeated The Legends for the SSW Tag Team title <br />12/19/1999 - Event - Starrcade '99, MCI Center, Washington, DC <br />12/19/1999 - Chris Benoit defeated Scott Hall for the WCW US Heavyweight title <br />12/19/1999 - Madusa defeated Evan Karagias for the WCW Cruiserweight title <br />12/19/2000 - Edge & Christian defeated Undertaker & the Rock for the WWF Tag Team title <br />12/20/1993 - Jerry Lawler defeated Jeff Jarrett for the USWA Unified Heavyweight title <br />12/20/1996 - The Eliminators defeated the Gangstas for the ECW Tag Team title <br />12/20/1999 - Chris Jericho and Chyna pinned each other to become co-holders of the WWF Intercontinental title <br />12/20/1999 - Bret Hart defeated Goldberg for the WCW Heavyweight title <br />12/20/1999 - Jeff Jarrett defeated Chris Benoit for the WCW US Heavyweight title <br />12/21/1973 - Rey Mendoza defeated Kim Sung Ho for the EMLL NWA Light Heavyweight title <br />12/21/1992 - Jeff Jarrett defeated Brian Christopher for the USWA Southern Heavyweight title <br />12/21/1996 - The War Machine defeated Beau James for the SSW Appalachian title

Plain and simple, if this country had a population control program then we wouldn't have half the problems we currently have. This is the year 2008 and there is no place for women that continue to do nothing in life except be a baby making machine.<br />Women who pop kid after kid out and then don't, or in most cases won't work and expect the taxpayers to take care of them through government programs. So then they can get that check each month and after hitting the local buffet with all 9 kids or more in tow, they migrate to Wal-Mart to blow the rest of <strong><em>your</em></strong> money.<br /><br />Other countries have programs setup to limit how many children a couple can have to control overpopulation and it's about time we did here. These large families are usually made up of parents that have no concept of what they are doing and treat the kids like shit. I saw one welfare momma grab her baby out of a highchair at my work. She grabbed the child's arm and lifted the porky little brat up by her arm! I'm surprised the kids arm didn't pop out but I'm sure the kid was used to it by now.<br /><br />This kind of behavior makes me sick and it should be legal to be able to walk up to scumbags like that and punch them right in the mouth. Most people like this are rude, lousy tippers and allow their children to run freely throughout any business they may be loitering in at the moment. This has got to stop! I for one am all for sterilization for certain people because some weirdos don't need to be spawning offspring!<br /><br />You may think I'm being harsh but think about it next time your in Wal-Mart just trying to buy that one item and your behind Big Bertha and all her damn Bebe's kids.

So this past weekend my wife and I attended her work's Christmas party. All these parties are the same. Everyone starts off to themselves except for a few that have already hit the alcohol. Then the food is finally served which is the main reason I went, the free food! <br />Then of course after some gifts are given out and then the music starts and that's where the fun begins.<br />No party where there is dancing is complete without the Electric Slide and to nobodies surprise it was the fourth song played.<br />Of course the only people to dance to this shitfest is all the ladies, any gay men and the random straight guy that gets pulled out there by one of the hooches.<br />After having to endure that timeless and completely worthless dance song, up next is The Humpty Dance. This is another song no party is complete without. <br />Now to this songs credit, every hot chick in the place will shake their ass nicely when they hear this one drunk or not.<br />The evening continues with the party popular song Ride the Train. I'm betting this DJ's cd album has nothing newer than 1996 songs.<br />So that was it for me, after winning no gifts and listening to every song I heard at my Senior Prom in 1992 it was time to go home and come back to 2008.

12/08/1963 - Born - Toshiaki Kawada <br />12/08/1972 - Born - Shane Austin <br />12/08/1972 - Born - Rizing Sun <br />12/09/1968 - Born - Kurt Angle <br />12/09/1968 - Born - Mike Maverick <br />12/09/1975 - Born - Juggernaut <br />12/09/1990 - Died - Mike Mazurki at 82 <br />12/11/1961 - Born - Doug Furnas <br />12/11/1965 - Born - La Parka <br />12/12/1966 - Born - Jinsei Shinzaki <br />12/12/1966 - Born - Ultimo Dragon <br />12/12/1974 - Born - Rey Misterio, Jr. <br />12/12/1974 - Born - Chad Collyer <br />12/13/1953 - Born - Junkyard Dog <br />12/13/1993 - Died - Larry Cameron of a heart attack at 41 <br />12/14/2001 - Died - Russ Haas of a heart attack at 27

12/08/1966 - Spiros Arion & Antonio Pugliese defeated Baron Mikel Scicluna & Smasher Sloan for the WWWF Tag Team title <br />12/08/1969 - Victor Rivera & Tony Marino defeated Professor Tanaka & Mitsu Arakawa for the WWWF Tag Team title <br />12/08/1980 - Pedro Morales defeated Ken Patera for the WWWF Intercontinental title <br />12/08/1990 - Doug Gilbert & Tony anthony defeated Jeff Jarrett & Cody Michaels for the USWA Tag Team title <br />12/08/1993 - Far Too Wild defeated the War Machines for the USWA Tag Team title <br />12/08/1994 - Harlem Heat defeated the Patriot & Marcus Bagwell for the WCW World Tag Team title <br />12/08/1997 - Rocky Maivia defeated Steve Austin for the WWF Intercontinental title <br />12/08/1997 - Disco Inferno defeated Perry Saturn for the WCW Television title <br />12/08/1999 - Sean Casey defeated Scott Sabre for the Ohio Valley Light Heavyweight title <br />12/09/1974 - Jack Brisco defeated Shohei Baba for the NWA Heavyweight Wrestling title <br />12/09/1991 - Kamala defeated Jerry Lawler for the USWA Unified Heavyweight title <br />12/09/1991 - Eric Embry defeated Tom Prichard for the USWA Southern Heavyweight title <br />12/09/1993 - Brian Christopher defeated Buddy Landell for the USWA Southern Heavyweight title <br />12/09/1995 - The Sandman defeated defeated Mikey Whipwreck & Steve Austin in a triangle match for the ECW Heavyweight title <br />12/09/1995 - Ricky Morton & Beau James defeated Death & Destruction for the SSW Tag Team title <br />12/09/2001 - Event - Vengeance, San Diego Sports Arena, San Diego, CA <br />12/09/2001 - Chris Jericho defeated Steve Austin for the WWF Heavyweight title <br />12/09/2001 - Chris Jericho defeated The Rock for the WCW Heavyweight title <br />12/09/2001 - Chris Jericho became the first WWF/WCW Unified Champion <br />12/09/2001 - The Undertaker defeated Rob Van Dam for the WWF Hardcore Title <br />12/10/1930 - Ed Don George defeated Gus Sonnenberg for the NWA Heavyweight Wrestling title <br />12/10/1973 - Bruno Sammartino defeated Stan Stasiak for the WWWF Heavyweight title <br />12/10/1975 - Terry Funk defeated Jack Brisco for the NWA Heavyweight Wrestling title <br />12/10/1999 - Genichiro Tenryu defeated Keiji Muto for the IWGP Heavyweight title <br />12/10/2000 - Event - Armageddon, Boutwell Auditorium, Birmingham, AL <br />12/10/2000 - Chris Benoit defeated Billy Gunn for the WWF Intercontinental title <br />12/10/2000 - Edge & Christian defeated Bull Buchanan & the Goodfather, the Dudley Boyz, the Roadd Dogg & K-Kwik for the WWF Tag Team title <br />12/11/1997 - Hunter Hearst Helmsley defeated Shawn Michaels for the WWF European Heavyweight title <br />12/11/2002 - Sonny Saiki defeated Jerry Lynn for the NWA-TNA X title <br />12/12/1958 - Mark Lewin & Don curtis defeated Eddie & Dr. Jerry Graham for the AWA Heavyweight title <br />12/12/1990 - Larry Zbyszko stripped of the AWA Heavyweight title - last AWA Champion <br />12/12/1998 - Event - IYH: Rock Bottom, GM Place, Vancouver, B.C. <br />12/12/1999 - Event - Armageddon, National Car Rental Center, Sunrise, FL <br />12/12/1999 - Chris Jericho defeated Chyna for the WWF Intercontinental title <br />12/12/1999 - The Kat defeated Ivory, Jacqueline & Barbara Bush for the WWF Women's title <br />12/12/1999 - Val Venis defeated Davey Boy smith for the WWF European Heavyweight title <br />12/12/2001 - Nick Dinsmore & Rob Conway defeated Jason Lee & Derrick King for the Ohio Valley Southern Heavyweight Tag Title <br />12/13/1920 - Ed Strangler Lewis defeated Joe Stecher for the World's Heavyweight Wrestling title <br />12/13/1988 - Event - SuperClash II, UIC Pavilion, Chicago, IL <br />12/13/1988 - Jerry Lawler defeated Kerry Von Erich for the USWA Unified Heavyweight title <br />12/13/1989 - Event - Starrcade, The Omni, Atlanta, GA <br />12/13/1989 - Andre the Giant & Haku defeated Demolition for the WWF Tag Team title <br />12/13/1993 - Alundra Blaze defeated Heidi Lee Morgan in a tournament final for the WWF Women's title <br />12/13/1995 - Jeff Jarrett defeated Ahmed Johnson for the USWA Unified Heavyweight title <br />12/13/1997 - Ricky Harrison defeated The War Machine for the SSW Heavyweight title <br />12/13/1998 - Rob Van Dam & Sabu defeated the Dudley Boys for the ECW Tag title <br />12/13/1999 - Scott Hall & Kevin Nash defeated Goldberg & Bret Hart for the WCW Tag Team title <br />12/13/2000 - Scott Hall arrested for allegedly kicking the door of a taxi in Florida <br />12/13/2003 - Danny Maff defeated Jerry Lawler for the Jersey All Pro Heavyweight Title <br />12/13/2003 - Eddie Thomas defeated Skinhead Ivan for the Jersey All Pro Television Title <br />12/13/2003 - Sonjay Dutt defeated Ruckus for the Combat Zone World Light-Heavyweight Title <br />12/13/2003 - Jimmy Rave defeated Trent Acid for the Combat Zone World Ironman Title <br />12/14/1963 - Verne Gagne defeated the Crusher for the AWA Heavyweight title <br />12/14/1983 - Dick Slater defeated Greg Valentine for the NWA U.S. Heavyweight title <br />12/14/1992 - Jerry Lawler defeated Koko B. Ware for the USWA Unified Heavyweight title <br />12/14/1996 - Wolfie D defeated Brian Christopher for the USWA Southern Heavyweight title <br />12/14/1998 - Big Bossman & Ken Shamrock defeated Billy Gunn & the Road Dogg for the WWF Tag title <br />12/14/2002 - The Messiah defeated Justice Pain for the Combat Zone World Heavyweight Title <br />12/14/2003 - Triple H defeated Bill Goldberg for the WWE Raw World Heavyweight Championship <br />12/14/2003 - Randy Orton defeated Rob Van Dam for the WWE Intercontinental title <br />12/14/2003 - Batista & Ric Flair defeated The Dudley Boyz, Garrison Cade & Mark Jindrak, Val Venis & Lance Storm, Rob Conway & Renee Dupree, The Hurricane & Rosey, & Test & Scott Steiner in a Tag Team Turmoil Match for the WWE Raw Tag Team title

I could just say "finally," and get it over with, but what would be the fun in that? Thirteen years to the day O.J. got away with murder, the NFL Hall of Famer was sentenced to 15 years in prison for his role in a kidnapping and armed robbery at a Las Vegas hotel in September 2007, a half-assed attempt to regain some of the memorabilia from his football days. Simpson had been convicted on all 12 counts by a jury this last October. Simpson, who during his statement in the sentencing part of the trial, said "I'm sorry, somewhat confused," had to be thinking "but my utter douchebag of a lawyer told me I'd walk on this one too." Judge Jackie Glass, before imposing a complex sentence of consecutive and concurrent punishments, told Simpson his actions were "much more than stupidity." Simpson, who was also denied the chance to be free on bail pending appeal (like we all know he wouldn't have booked it to a non-extradition country faster than he hurdled shit in a Hertz commercial), will serve a minimum of nine years before being eligible for parole. This means he'll be at least 70 before he could see the light of day again. Here's to hoping he doesn't even make it that long, although it would be amusing to see the prison-style tabloid pics of Simpson yukking it up with his new friends and drinking some vintage homemade booze while getting some tits tattooed on his back. <em>The Shawshank Redemption</em>, it ain't, but nothing's too good for this douchebag.<br /><br />Speaking not only of douchebags, but guys who should have been in jail a long damn time ago, Bob Novak's brain tumor, the most ironic of all afflictions HE could have suffered, was back firing on all cylinders, as during an interview with the National Ledger recently, the columnist said he would out former CIA agent Valerie Plame again if he could go back and do it all again, adding he didn't think he hurt her whatsoever. Yeah, and he's probably still in denial about running over a fellow geezer with his Corvette, too. Probably tried to pull a Cheney and make the guy he ran over apologize for fucking up his detailing. Novak's reasoning for outing Plame again, if he had it to do all over again, was that the "left" in the media and Congress had tried to "ruin" him. Yep. That's exactly like saying you ruined a turd by stepping on it. Here's to hoping that tumor gets off its lazy ass and finally sends Novak to the dumbass wing of hell, where he rightfully freakin' belongs.<br /><br />So, two neighborhoods in Milwaukee are kicking around the idea of printing up their own money. My first thought, on reading this, was, WTF? Not exactly the best answer to the recession, and just how the hell are they supposed to pull this off. Running dollar bills through a photocopier and writing "The United Neighborhoods of Milwaukee" on them? Apparently, the "local" dough is an idea to increase spending at neighborhoods stores and businesses, as in an example from the story, they could trade $100 real money for $110 in local currency, basically getting a ten percent discount from the businesses taking part in the plan. Reminds me of the "coupon" bit that comedian Ron White does, talking about going to an Octoberfest in Wisconsin. Not to mention, how many local businesses are really going to get in on this? If I am to believe there will be a strip club in Milwaukee taking "coupons" for lap dances, there may finally be a realistic reason for me to go to Milwaukee, or Wisconsin period, for that matter.

Ah yes, let the pettiness continue...with all the half-assed rambling going on that President-elect Barack Obama is not a natural-born citizen of the United States, leave it to the most half-assed Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court to throw his three-quarters of a cent into the mix. Justice Clarence Thomas, best known as the premier seat-filler on the high court for maybe having only said four words the entire time he's been there, has asked the other Justices to consider a lawsuit that questions the citizenship of our soon-to-be 44th President. The matter has actually been scheduled for a conference tomorrow, leading me to wonder if the Supreme Court has ran the hell out of sensible matters to look into, and if so, why they are following the lead of the most disinterested stone-faced mute to ever occupy space in the highest level of our judiciary.<br /><br />Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to facepalm...former Florida Governor Jeb Bush is mulling over whether or not to run for the U.S. Senate seat Mel Martinez is going to leave after 2010. While it seems by far and large margins that Jeb is the least repulsive of the Bush offspring, one has to be curious to his chances. His older brother is currently holding simultaneous spots as not only the worst president in the history of this country, and judging by the GOP's performance, a big time political liability, and you know that fact has weighed in on Jeb's mind. Sure, a 2006 Quinnipiac University poll showed that 57% of Florida voters thought Jeb was a good or great governor, but that very same poll had 59% of those same voters disapproving of the job Dubya was doing. I want to see a poll taken in the here and now, showing what not only the voters in Florida, but voters across the country think about the prospects of yet another Bush remaining in public office. I for one, welcome a day when the Bush political machine, if ever it could have been called such, finally sputters to a stop.<br /><br />Closing out today's column with failure of a different sort, James Pischel's attorney, public defender Matt Graff, argued to the Supreme Court that Pischel had been entrapped, by a Lincoln police investigator posing as a 15-year-old girl, by the use of emoticons, even after Pischel had supposedly tried to break off online contact two months prior. Pischel was busted in June 2007 after trying to meet the girl for sex near a public park in Lincoln. So let me get this straight...some dipshit guy working as a state corrections officer gets busted for trying to hook up with a 15-yr-old girl, and he is going to blame the emoticons the cop used? Dumbass said he tried to break off contact online, and that's all well and good, but why the fuck did he go try and meet the chick? Never mind your Ps and Qs...maybe you should have minded your :)s or your ;Ds instead. What makes this an even bigger fail in my book is the fact Pischel had already served out his 1-2 year sentence, having been released in late-October. If they weren't going to pay this any mind then, what makes you think it's gonna hold water this time around?

Come join Dr. Thomas Keister and "The Internet Legend," ppdingles tonight on an all-new episode of Probably Uncalled For, LIVE as always on Blog Talk Radio! Tonight, they'll be discussing more great moments for government, the continued embarassment of the GOP by the GOP and most assuredly FOR the GOP, more great moments for education, an unbelieveable piece from Illinois - if you are a single parent, you HAVE to hear this!, and all the pop culture, entertainment, and other topics TBA you hinge the rest of your week on!<br /><br /><center>8pm Eastern / 5pm Pacific</center><br /><center>live call-in #646-478-5145</center><br /><center>phone lines and chat room open duration of show</center><br /><br /><center><a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/probablyuncalledfor">

Space beer? Kind of. Mentioned around the Internet, the beer was made from barley grown on the International Space Station in 2006, so it's actually a terrestrial brew, although I suppose you could argue it was made from "space-age" materials. My first thought on reading this was "well, they need something to wash the taste of recycled urine from their mouths, so more power to them," so you could imagine my disappointment for the crew on the ISS when it was revealed the beer, a joint effort of the Russian Academy of Science, Japanese brewer Sapporo, and a Japanese university, was concocted here on Earth. I mean, come on, you guys built a space station, and you can't even sneak some spare parts up there to make a still?<br /><br />While I find great fun on my talk show of poking fun at the United Kingdom, notably Britain, for some of the incredibly stupid things they do, usually under the more-than-watchful gaze of the government, sometimes stories slip through the cracks on me, and I have to play catch-up. The town of Bournemouth, back in March of this year, took the extraordinary step of banning fire extinguishers from apartment complexes, calling them a safety hazard. But of course.<br /><br />This move has created a square dance of sorts between several government agencies in Britain, as first, Dorset Fire and Rescue defended the idea, saying new building regulations mean every escape route should be completely fireproof. Oh, really? Well then, riddle me this, dumbass firefighters...if the escape routes are supposed to be completely fireproof, then how come the entire fucking building cannot be completely fireproof. Oh, that's right, then you'd be out of a job. Not to mention, what the hell is Dorset Fire and Rescue so freakin worried about? Last time I checked, they get paid no matter what they do, and it's not like someone putting out a kitchen fire gets paid for the effort.<br /><br />The Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents backed the move as well, using the "different types of extinguishers for different types of fires" argument, apparently having never heard of fucking ABC extinguishers. Then again, with the number of security cameras proliferating across England, it kind of makes sense when you think about it, as after all, government officials should know about the fire before even the people in the apartment complex do. <br /><br />Stepping above the fray, the Department for Communities and Local Government said this was not going to result in the removal of fire extinguishers, saying that "fire and safety regulations make clear that appropriate safety be provided." Well, at least somebody is thinking with the north end of their bodies, although I guess the case could be made that if their asses were on fire and their heads were catching, there would still be a debate of some sort...

So, according to all the cable and network news sources, the United States is now "officially" in a recession, and has been for about a year now. Absolutely fucking fascinating. Yeah, making it "official," that was the key...now everybody is going to figure it out. We've known this for months, as the housing market was bottoming out, as every arrogant banking group was lining up to get a bailout so they could keep their big-time salaries, bonuses, and stadium naming rights. Yeah, things might have been rough, but now it's "official," so NOW we can say comfortably that the economy is spiraling down the porcelain? You may now facepalm thusly.<br /><br />In somewhat related news, Ford CEO Alan Mulally, Chrysler CEO Robert Nardelli, and GM CEO Rick Wagoner all announced they would work for $1 a year as they approach Congress with their new plan to beg for a $25 billion bailout. How droll. Maybe they should have taken this dramatic bullshit gesture well before the car went off the cliff, pun intended. Even now, a buck a year is overpriced for these three men, and the bottom line is any bailout, in addition to actual honest-to-god oversight (like any of us expect THAT to happen), the bailout needs to include the resignation of all three men, with replacement scouting to take place somewhere in the incorporated city limits of competence.<br /><br />Meanwhile, it was reported by British news that President-elect Obama is buying his wife a $30,000 diamond ring. Puppy be damned, pal...how bad did you fuck up to warrant that?<br /><br />It was announced today that even more material was being made public from the Nixon administration, shedding more light on Watergate and Vietnam, among other things. The release consists of 200 hours of audiotape and more than 90,000 pages of documents from 1972-74. Holy cow, this guy releases more posthumous material than Jimi Hendrix. At the rate this is going, we should have a better picture of the scope of Dubya's dry fisting of this country sometime in 2071...<br /><br />Meanwhile, a trio of enterprising people in Ohio found themselves in hot water after a raffle went bust. Christopher S. Johnson, 33, an academic adviser at OSU's School of Nursing, Rusty Blades, 42, a real estate agent, and Vanise Dunn, 31, an employee of Franklin County Children Services and apparent part-time prostitute, were all nabbed after putting together the raffle, at $10 a ticket, on Craigslist, to spend an evening with a prostitute. Even sadder is the fact that Dunn has been employed as a child sex-abuse caseworker with Franklin County Children Services since 2000. Fuck, man, doesn't that job pay anything? Johnson was charged with promoting prostitution and given $25,000 bail. Blades, who was providing the house where the "prize" was to be collected, with also charged with promoting prostitution and given $50,000 bail. Dunn, who was named as the prize, was charged November 12 with allegedly soliciting a vice detective in a presumably different incident. Not that I'm against entrepreneurship or anything like that, but the most outrageous part of this is the idea that Dunn is on paid leave since her arrest, while the agency looks into whether Dunn violated any of its policies. What in the name of holy damn is there to figure out? You got someone charged with at least one sex crime, albeit the lowest level possible, realistically, and you're still letting her draw a paycheck as a sex abuse caseworker, for children?

Meanwhile, as I was wondering if anyone would manage to get trampled during "Cyber Monday," the big online shopping day following Black Friday...<br /><br />MSNBC mentioned Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin campaigning for Senator and well-known douchebag Saxby Chambliss today in Georgia, where Chambliss faces Democrat Jim Martin in a runoff election tomorrow. The headline at the bottom of the screen proclaimed "Palin on the stump again." My first thought? Palin on the stump again? That's a heck of a thing to say about Todd, and I wonder when the next trophy child will be unloosed upon us...<br /><br />With a story breaking over the weekend that Britain is actually the most promiscuous countries in the world, I was glad to get a little cause and effect story to balance everything out this morning, as another study showed that many major supermarket chains are charging rock bottom prices, no pun intended, for alcohol than for bottled water and in a few instances, even less than a bottle of Coke. Alcohol is now almost 70% cheaper now, based on income, than it was in 1980, with some items going for 40% less than the suggested retail price. Wow. I think we finally have an answer as to why hook-ups occur in supermarkets as opposed to bars. Not to mention, the overall bravery of the British people, as readily available cheap booze combined with promiscuity simply increases the odds of winding up in the sack with Amy Winehouse. I'd rather play Russian roulette than take the chance on waking up next to Amy Winehouse, because honestly people, who has the time to gnaw their arm off at the shoulder at that hour of the morning?...<br /><br />Now that we are neck deep in the holiday season, let the dumbass "war on Christmas" stories and PC holiday "traditions" flood our news markets. In Olympia, Washington, the Christmas tree (or Holiday tree, or Xmas shrub, or whatever the hell you wanna call it) will share space with not only a Christian nativity scene, but a billboard from an atheist group. Normally, there is also a menorah included to recognize Hanukkah, but so far, no requests have been made to include one this year.<br /><br />The billboard, sponsored by the Freedom from Religion Foundation, will read <br />"Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds." Fair enough, I suppose, and maybe even true enough, if you take enough time to study the issue and come to your own conclusion, but what struck me as stupid was the statement by Annie Laurie Gaylor, the foundation's co-president, that the sign is a reminder of the "real reason for the season, the winter solstice." <br /><br />Uh, yeah...about that...not that I am a giant fan of the holiday season by any stretch of the imagination, that statement is just ludicrous. Yes, I am well aware that the winter solstice marks the beginning of winter, but let me ponder, when have I ever seen a "Winter Solstice Sale," or a winter solstice tree, or the winter solstice tradition of cramming "A Christmas Story" or "It's a Wonderful Life" down our throats, or heard the godawful winter solstice music? Oh, yeah...never have. I can fully get behind separating religion from those who may not want a public spectacle made of it every fucking year, but a Christmas tree hardly fucking qualifies. There is Christmas, which some choose to celebrate as a religious holiday, and yet others still who use it to its materialistic breaking point. Why not crusade for something that means something real, like poverty, or injustice, or something rather than self-importance for six weeks out of the year?<br /><br />You may think I'm being harsh, or reactionary, or whatever the buzzword is this year, but ask yourself...where are all the protesters like Annie Laurie Gaylor come summer solstice?...yep, that what I thought...

Words, a simple five letter word, that whether or not you are aware of it, has been a part of your entire life. You learn young what words are acceptable and what words are not. The first you learn not to say are the "dirty four-letter" words. Doesn't it strike you as strange that most of the bad words consist of only four letters?<br /><br />Lately, though, there has been a seven letter word, that is in the news frequently, and somehow has even been granted "word of the year" status, despite it being dirtier in its own way than any four letter word previously coined. The word is bailout! I could think of several that could be used in its place- bonus, handout, giveaway, charity- you get the drift. This country is in really sad shape when it starts rewarding its failures- be they in business or government.<br /><br />Cases in point, AIG bailed out- business as usual, with all the luxury perks like big salaries, bonuses, etc. Citigroup- still gets to sponsor big-time college football games and keep their $400 million deal to name the new stadium where the Mets will play, along with the big salaries and bonuses and so on and so forth.<br /><br />Now the big three automakers want in on the giveaway and why not, its only taxpayer money! But most taxpayers don't make $28, $38, or $70 an hour, whichever number is being quoted more at the moment in the press. Even the low amount of $28 an hour is close to three times what the average worker gets an hour. These big executives fly to Washington in private jets, have limos waiting on them to go beg for money, and don't even bat an eye while doing so. Most people still have all they can do to keep gas in their car, even though it has dropped tremendously. While it has dipped, everything else has gone up. This column won't make a difference anywhere or in anything, but at least I was able to throw in two cents more than my share of the future bailouts.

So there I was, sitting in my living room, drinking my last bloody mary of the day, checking my Facebook page and watching a House rerun on USA. Rob Tinsley, a longtime friend of mine had updated his status to reflect his preparation to head out into the Black Friday shopping maelstrom, and having watched The Smoking Gun presents World's Dumbest Shoppers earlier in the evening, I sent a tongue-in-cheek reply to not wind up as a highlight on volume two. Then, after I woke up to begin my Friday, news had broken on the death of a Wal Mart worker in Long Island, New York after being trampled by idiot shoppers trying to get a bargain on a flat screen, a laptop, or whatever was apparently worth recreating the scene of third world residents trying to get to a relief package freshly airlifted by some humanitarian group.<br /><br />The as-yet unidentified man, 34 years old, was working for Wal Mart through a temp service when the store opened this morning in a manner only less organized than a full-fledged riot, as a statement from Nassau County police said a group of slack-jawed morons "physically broke down the doors, knocking him to the ground." Jimmy Overby, a fellow Wal Mart employee, said the temp worker was "bum-rushed by 200 people...they took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down too ... I literally had to fight people off my back." The temp worker was pronounced dead at around 6 a.m. Eastern time this morning, an hour after the store opened.<br /><br />While the police added that three other shoppers had received minor injuries and were transported to a local hospital for observation, reports were also surfacing that a 28 yr-old pregnant woman was knocked to the ground and had suffered a miscarriage. True to form, I suppose, shoppers continued to flood the store, going right around EMS workers attending to the woman and the temp worker. Remember the infamous story about the woman snapping a cell phone pic of the pregnant stabbing victim in a convenience store from a year or so ago? How is this any different? Although I guess we can say, as a small victory, we haven't as yet heard of any asshats emailing pics from this sickening display. <br /><br />Shopper Kimberly Cribbs was quoted by news sources as saying "They're savages. It's sad. It's terrible." I would not go so far as to drag down the good name of savages by comparing them to this gaggle of low foreheads. Savages earn that name for a reason, but rational people, the same people who make transactions in stores everyday, do not trample people to save a couple of bucks on a fucking DVD player. <br /><br />Wal-Mart Stores Inc., in Bentonville, Ark., would not confirm the reports of a stampede during the day-after-Thanksgiving bargain hunting, but said a "medical emergency" caused them to close the store. Yeah, fucking right. At what point, when the cash register tape told them the day was a boom profit, or when the crime scene tape became an issue of aesthetics?<br /><br />Not that this tragedy is the first indication that something needs to be done about Black Friday sales, but rather one of the more compelling. How hard can it be to operate businesses with a modicum of civil order 364 days a year, but allowing blind eyes all around the fucking day after Thanksgiving? The answers may not be all that clear, but they are there, not the least of which would be holding these retailers accountable for the chaos they inevitably engineer, in the name of making up the slow parts of their sales year.<br /><br />I'm not much of a gambler, but I would put good money on the barrelhead that not a single person entering or leaving that Wal Mart had an ounce of guilt, even upon hearing the news. That may be "terrible," or "sad," as Cribbs put it, but those people could not truly give a damn, as they have already made a dent in their holiday shopping, and good for them. Hope there isn't a crowd in hell when they get there. I'd hate to think of the inconvenience these soulless idiots will encounter.

Wow, and here I was, thinking that the Detroit Lions was going to be the biggest disaster on turkey day...professional loudmouth Rosie O'Donnell's alledged variety show on NBC, <em>Rosie Live</em>, drew a simply pathetic 1.2 rating the night before, meaning more people were watching an informercial on male enhancement products than her latest attempt to hang on to the mainstream. Think that might be a little harsh? Nope. The show matched the ratings for <em>Pushing Daisies</em>, which ABC just cancelled. An equal to damn near greater number of people were watching a show they knew <em>wouldn't</em> be back, rather than witness you mooing your way through whatever it was your clusterfuck was trying to pull off. <br /><br />Problem #1: O'Donnell singing a duet with Liza Minnelli. You know what's worse than Liza Minnelli singing? Rosie fucking O'Donnell trying to sing. Who can listen to her using her normal speaking voice, let alone cranking up the volume to sing? I'd rather listen to a busy day at the bolt gun shoot in a fucking slaughterhouse. I'd rather listen to three cats having an orgy in a potato sack being whacked with a bat jammed full of nails. I'd rather...well, you see where I'm going with this.<br /><br />Problem #2: A skit with Alec Baldwin pasting Conan O'Brien with a pie. I dig Conan O'Brien, but come on, man...<em>a pie in the face skit</em>? Vaudeville is dead, so dead, still dead, and it ain't never coming back. The writers strike must have done more damage than we all thought. <br /><br />Problem #3: A striptease by Jane Krakowski shilling White Caster sliders and Crest Whitestrips. Something tells me the mix of Krakowski stripping and sliders put together was more for O'Donnell's benefit than anything else. And that is one greasy bad mental image, no matter how cheap sliders are.<br /><br />The final nail in Rosie's piano crate had to be the email from an exec at another network, opining that "There's a notion that the climate is right for the genre to make a comeback. I guess we now know what not to do, thanks to Rosie."<br /><br />Indeed. Well put, sir or ma'am, as the case may be. Now can we get her dumb ass to do a reality show, in the hopes she can kill <em>that</em> genre too?

Episode #76: Come join Dr. Thomas Keister and ppdingles on an all new Probably Uncalled For tonight, as they'll be covering Joe Lieberman's new found appreciation for ass kissing, more GOP fuckery, a bailout update, the Hogan divorce, a new chapter in the history of the lap dance, gender confusion in the animal planet, and all the other TBA you need right before you put yourself to sleep with the turkey tomorrow afternoon...<br /><br /><center><a href="http://www.blogtalkradio.com/probablyuncalledfor">

In what has to be a performance sure to be nominated for Best Ass-Kissing in a supporting role, Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) had this to say about the job President-elect Barack Obama has done thus far: "Everything that President-elect Obama has done since election night has been just about perfect, both in terms of a tone and also in terms of the strength of the names that have either been announced or are being discussed to fill his administration."<br /><br />Wow. For a guy who just a couple months ago was saying we'd all wind up dead, more or less, if we elected Obama, the 180 degree turn couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact Obama helped out when it came time for the Democrats to slap Lieberman's wrist and take away the chairmanship of a b-level subcommittee, could it? I can appreciate the fact Obama is trying to bridge both sides of the aisle, but it would probably be a little less awkward for all parties concerned if Lieberman was slightly less obvious fumbling for our next president's zipper. Connecticut Dems are set to meet December 17 to determine whether or not to censure Lieberman for the bang-up job he did campaigning for the other guy during the nearly two year presidential campaign, although I expect them to simply smack the wrist the Democratic Caucus missed the first time around. If they do, should we brace for Lieberman lobbying the Catholic church to consider President-elect Obama for sainthood? I wouldn't rule it out, as this point...<br /><br />Meanwhile, some more believable acting was taking place at Osaka University in Japan, as a Wakamaru robot, designed by Mitsubishi Heavy Industry as a domestic robot/companion for the elderly, appeared in <em>Hataraku Watashi</em> (<em>I, Worker</em> for those not fluent in the Japanese), a short play, alongside human actors. This is being called a first in robot-human artistic collaboration. The 3 foot tall, 66 pound robot didn't have any trouble with its lines, so I can clearly see the benefits. I mean, realistically, this is the precursor to <em>Futurama</em>'s Calculon, so that in its own is pretty damn cool.<br /><br />However, at the same time, I can also see trouble on the horizon. Not only do I have the mental image of hi-tech tentacle porn springing up in Japan in the future, just wait until acting robots start expressing a desire to adopt half the children of some third world toilet country, or flashing their mechanical junk climbing out of a car at the MTV Movie Awards. Then again, the damn things would probably think up better names than Bronx Mowgli for their offspring...<br /><br />To wrap it up today, we also have a nominee for Worst Religious Defense. Felicia Johnson, of Marietta, Georgia, somehow came under the impression that her roommate's belongings were possessed, so she did what any...ahem...rational person would do. She set the shit on fire. Placing the items in two piles, one in the fireplace and the other on the balcony, Johnson then set the matches, or the bic lighter, or the torch she also uses to chase monsters from the kingdom to the stuff, causing minimal damage to the apartment. No word was given as to whether or not the "evil spirits" took the hint and got the fuck out of Dodge. Not surprisingly, Johnson was arrested and charged with first degree arson, and even less surprising, was taken to a local hospital for a mental evaluation. Maybe someone should have told her to just spend a couple of bucks and have an exorcism done instead. Sure, it's a little noisier, but the best part is, it probably will not affect your security deposit. I can see it now...next on PBS, <em>This Old Exorcism</em>, as today, we'll be clearing the devil from a pair of possessed end tables and a bathroom throw rug with some evil intentions.

Holy damn! Some stories merely catch your eye...then there is this story...20 month old Nicholas Holderman, at home and playing with his two older brothers, wound up getting, of all things, his parents' car keys jammed into his freakin' brain! My first thought...what the fuck were they playing? I mean, lawn darts have long since wandered off into the sunset, even in Kentucky, where this went down.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_LTH15qZZGTU/SS9kT6r--7I/AAAAAAAAAD4/ZQBUk-m7kkk/s1600-h/holy damn.jpg">Alerted by the screams, his parents found him in that state, which I can only imagine aged them each ten to fifteen years in a matter of seconds. Dialing up the 911, the child was taken by helicopter to a hospital. Makes sense. I mean, how were the parents supposed to drive to the hospital? It's hard enough to keep a two-year-old still in a car anyway, let alone when he's dangling from the ignition. All kidding aside, the kid has since made a full recovery, so at least the story has a happy ending.

Meanwhile, as the least surprising news of the year, that the Chinese Government has a problem with the new Guns N' Roses album, Chinese Democracy, was breaking...<br /><br />Ever craved a ponytail sportin', zen philosophizin', martial arts master patrollin' a beat in New Orleans? Of course you have. Maybe you didn't know it, but you were. Naturally, there's only one guy to fit that description, and after spending much of the decade languishing in direct-to-dvd movies like the ones they marathon on Spike every couple of weeks or so, Steven Seagal is set to star in his first TV project, and predictably enough, it's a reality show. <br /><br />A&E is set to debut Steven Seagal: Lawman sometime in later 2009. The latest in the never-ending stream of reality television projects will follow the Under Siege star as he presumably takes care of business as a deputy with the Jefferson Parish County Sheriff's Office. It has been reported that Seagal has put in time with the county sheriff's office off and on across two decades as a fully commissioned deputy, including assisting with recovery efforts following Hurricane Katrina. But hey, as it's also a reality show, it can't all be Seagal handcuffing domestic violence suspects and taking on an entire bar full of stereotypical thugs, the show will also cover his musical and philanthropic pursuits while in the area.<br /><br />A singing, ass-whooping lawman? Shit, this would have made a great western, if not for the whole ponytail thing and all...<br /><br />Meanwhile, one again, we find proof that there isn't usually any dignity in death. Benjamin Collen, a 19-year-old Illinois Institute of Technology sophomore, was found dead in his fraternity house Saturday of asphyxia from inhaling nitrous oxide from a whipped cream container. Yeah. You read that right. Someone died from freaking whippets. Collen, a sophomore biomedical engineering major from Lincolnwood, was discovered Saturday night in a storage room in the Alpha Sigma Phi fraternity house on campus, after being missing for eight days, with nitrous oxide cylinders found near his body.<br /><br />Nitrous oxide, often called "laughing gas," is used as an anesthetic and as a foaming agent for whipped cream canisters. The IIT chapter of Alpha Sigma Phi was in good standing and no disciplinary action will be taken against the fraternity due to the accidental nature of Collen's death. I guess that storage room was not used for liquor, as there is no damn way it would have stayed unchecked for eight days. <br /><br />Now, if someone would just do a few whippets, listen to Chinese Democracy, and pick a fight with Steven Seagal somewhere, I'd have a really awesome way to end this column today...