Caution: Reading further may cause you to lose all faith in mankind. Especially the man kind of mankind.

(Please) don't ask me how I came upon the official Tonya Harding website. I just did, alright?

I was, of course, skeptical at first that the legendary T-Hard would have such a lackluster representation on the internets but there's a video right on the front page, thanking you for your support and visiting this, her official website.

Can't argue with science.

Then I noticed an innocuous little link, titled "Fantasy."

Oh yes.

They say it better than I ever could - "There are 1581 fantasy stories and messages, and they're all about Tonya Harding." In other words, Tonya Harding erotic fan fiction! Just when I thought I had won at the internet, I realize there's yet another link for "Rejected Fantasies."

Sweet baby Jesus. This is like Yahoo Answers meets Literotica. Some fine excepts include:

• "this is so great i love it i wish i could watch it all the time i masturbate to it frequntyly then me and my woman go and fuck like caged monkeys"


• "...then my wife would put on the fake dick and fuck tonya in her pussy and ass hole long and hard till the bitch can’t take anymore then we would chain her to to bed to fuck her any time we want."


• "She has wicked–awesome body‚ looks good naked and knows how to skate at the Olympic level."

Let's take a minute to celebrate all of humanity.

There are times when I fear somebody out there's going to revoke my License to Photoshop.

There is so much personal win in this picture.

Taco Jason is my new Santa Claus.

Cats are easily confused.

Some people are bothered by pictures on the wall hanging slightly crooked. Others may not even be aware that something may be amiss.

Others are just obsessed OCD freaks. Like ME!

I found this simple Flash game, The Eyeballing Game, and haven't been able to stop playing.

Follow the instructions for each screen, estimating where certain points should fall. Play three rounds to see your average score then compare scores against others in real time.

See if you can beat my scores...

Reasons why I love this video...

• It's a great song.


• I used to drive a very similar car.


• Cows!

So I went to the Chicago(ish) Tweetup last Saturday and it was AWESOME.

Tater tots, cookies, alcohol and tons of hilarious people from the internets. Kissed and hugged some old friends and met some new ones.

There's a ton of pics from the event in the Flickr pool. I however, didn't think to take one single picture. Instead, I've hijacked the existing pictures and Photoshop'd them to reflect what I remember happening.

I've just come up with a brilliant new scenario.

"Guy" gets into a situation and has to lie to Girl. Things get complicated. The lie balloons out of control as Guy has to improvise new details to fit his lie. We'll call Guy's lie "Story B" which has been fabricated to cover up "Story A" which is the truth.

Got me so far?

So then Girl realizes something's amiss and utters the pivotal words....

"I think I know what's going on here."

"You do?" asks Guy.

Girl then proceeds to explain the whole situation, using all of the information she's been given. But here's the hilarious part - It's neither Story A nor Story B! Girl has put together all of the lies and fabricated a whole new version of what's really going on! Story C!

"Yes! That... is.... what's going on" says Guy.

Hilarity ensues, Girl finds out true story, wags finger and there is implied sex.

Now to find a sitcom who'll purchase this brilliant new plot device.

My President is a Jedi. Your country is invalid.

Link to full size pic.