Infomercials provide a lot. Sometimes products that you would actually buy, but mostly some laughs at 3 AM when you get hoe from the bar, alone, and piss drunk. Even better are the 2 minute commercials that are like infomercials because they found some silly product nobody wants, but found some guy to act like it is really great and then give you a great deal o it. The good old impulse buyy items you will never use, but if you are stupid, probably think you want it after seeing the commercial. Usually…you will see these commercials and be like “WTF? Who would buy that crap?”

Unlike something you could use like some normal Votive candle holders, a windshield wiper, or a paper towel substitute, these things are utterly idiotic.

The WORST thing I have ever seen:

What the bloody hell is this? The TIDDY BEAR!? Bahahaha…Even better look at the dumb ass guy that said he got one because his wife liked it…haha

This one is on a lot now, but I still can’t figure out who is stupid enough to think these are great.

Come on. If you told me I could look like Obi Won Kanobi and this was a Halloween costume I could get on board with a Snuggies, but not for this purpose. Look at the little kid at the sporting event. Tell me she can do anything with that on. You can’t even see her hands! LMAO…it’s like 2 feet too long and the show it in the commercial…ouch

Of course there are always these. The broke ass celebrity hawking something that should probably be illegal. Pause the video at the end when they show the small print and look at the first line.

How about the Hawaii Chair? What a work out!

And L.M.A.O. @ this commercial. Seriously…it is hilarious.

There was nothing better than the great Billy Mays in the infomercial world, but now there is a new rising star in the infomercial business. This guy is only known to me as the “ShawWow guy”. I have no desire to find his real name at all. He creeps me the hell out, and he should creep you out too. Not even some fancy Progress lighting can make this guy look like he is normal. I can’t even describe how he looks. Skeletor maybe?

Anyways, he has a new one out and it has the infomercial quote of the year. Roll up to about 35 seconds, 37 seconds to be exact and listen to how proud this guy is of his nuts.

Nobody hates Tetris. If you do you are a moron. Some people think it is the best game ever made. They need to buy engagement rings, or take a visit to www.babynames.com because that is just silly.

Anyways, this video is some guy that talks, or actually sings about the greatness of Tetris. In the tune of one of the amazing Tetris game songs that plays over and over and over and over again while you play. The music you will never forget as long as you live because if you don’t really suck bad at Tetris you have heard this song play for hours on end. You can play Tetris Online as well now that I think o fit :).

Yeah it is the day after Christmas, but you don’t really hear Christmas jokes until Christmas day now do you? The best thing about Christmas jokes is that most of them start out all cute and happy, and then end up being rude and mean. They are also usually one of the “Story” books type jokes rather than the traditional one liner.

I always loved this joke. It is wrong in so many ways. Especially if you are a churchie.

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for is annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

Here are a couple more, but since they are long I’m just going to stop here and link you to a few good spots that have a dozen or so jokes.

A Top 10 about Dirty Christmas Things that ARen’t Dirty:

Top 10 Things that Sound Dirty at Christmas, But Aren’t

10. Did you get any under the tree?

9. I think your balls are hanging too low.

8. Check out Rudolph’s Honker!

7. Santa’s sack is really bulging.

6. Lift up the skirt so I can get a clean breath.

5. Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?

4. I love licking the end till it’s really sharp and pointy.

3. From here you can’t tell if they’re artificial or real.

2. Can I interest you in some dark meat?

1. To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.

Christmas Card problem solved!

Last Christmas, grandpa was feeling his age, and found that

shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he

decided to send checks to everyone instead.

He enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities, and it was

only after the holiday that he noticed that he had receiving very

few cards in return. Puzzled over this, he went into his study,

intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had

happened. It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that

he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to

find the gift checks which he had forgotten to enclose with the

cards.

Here’s a good Christmas Joke Lists here.

Merry Christmas most people.

Happy Holidays Atheists who have a bug up their ass, and Happy Hanukkah to the Jews. All other celebrations I do not know about so Happy whatever to you :).

This may be the show that epitomizes dysfunctional child actors. Dana Plato and Todd Bridges ended up being the poster children for that celeb scandal crap you see everywhere now by being the ones that catapulted troubled child actors into mainstream TV junk food we see so regularly today.

Different Strokes aired on the NBC television network from November 3, 1978 to May 4, 1985, and on ABC from September 27, 1985 to March 7, 1986. Weird swapping networks like that eh? Can’t really think of seeing that happen too often. Can’t really think of a better weight loss pill than Leptovox either.

The show starred Gary Coleman of course, as Arnold “What you talkin’ ’bout Willis” Jackson, and Todd Bridges as his brother Willis. It is two black kids that get adopted by some rich white pervert who has a daughter named Kimberly played by Dana Plato. Three kids that went on to be trainwrecks. They even had Edna Garret the maid who ended up starring on another craptacular series Facts of Life.

This show was brutal. If you watch it now it is even worse. This was when PC was still in its infancy and white people really still tried to be “down with the blacks”. They failed miserably. Old white guy trying to be “cool” with young black kids? Ultimate FAIL.

Different Strokes Intro

A show with a theme song that is a remake of a Beatles song by Joe Cocker can’t be bad can it? Only if you like things that suck it can’t.

The Wonder Years ran for six seasons on ABC, from 1988 through 1993. It starred the forgettable Fred Savage, who literally has done nothing of note since he was on this show.

This kind of show is what you call one of those that doesn’t really have anything interesting going on, but does a lot of things that aesthetically make you somehow like it if you grew up in this era. It’s kind of a really terrible version of A Christmas Story going on over and over again every week. They take Vietnam, some Beatles tunes, and other current events of the time to cover up the fact that everyone on the show is a terrible actor, and that the story is retarded. Just read the plot of this show. Horrid. Thankfully it only lasted around 4-5 seasons, and if you were betting on its failure in at a hotels las vegas you probably lost your ass because the only bet you could have made was “canceled after the pilot” :P..

So…people that actually have a PS3, can go online and become as annoying as they are on lol myspace. Of course there is a bit more to Home than there is to Myspace. It’s a 3D world that works in much the same way as an MMORPG where you can roll up to people and insult them like you do. Ask them to play games, check out movies, and go to bowling allies.

People will complain about it, but it is really a solid idea. It brings thoughts of The Sims to you for the most part. You can have your avatar online and hang out with other users like you can in any other online world, but in 3D. There are different areas to hang out in such as the shanty-towns found in Ubisoft’s Far Cry 2. The possibilities are really quite endless. Probably see people working out on treadmills, chilling out at a movie theater, or hanging out at the bowling alley. Really there isn’t much to complain about other than the obvious kinks it will have during this Beta stage.

It is also completely FREE. Just like any other social network. Of course you need to own a PS3, but if you are an XBox fanboy it will give you something else to whine about on the internet. Will I use it? Doubtful, but I might. I can definitely see a lot of people using tit though. It isn’t like a lot people don’t spend most of the day online right now anyways.

This is OLD’d, but always a classic. It has been updated recently I believe, but I know I have seen this before. At least I have seen it used for many other things than just the Detroit Lions, but I am a Lions fan so it must be posted. Yeah…I know…the Lions blow. You don’t have to tell me this, and nothing you say is going to get to me. NOTHING. Anything you say about how bad they are has been said by Lions fans themselves and you aren’t clever, or funny with your stale comments. Especially the moron who still thinks it is funny to say “Who are you going to draft #1 Overall? A wide receiver?”. It just isn’t creative to say this.

As for the video it is just changing the subtitles to something funny from some movie you probably have seen kickign back on your discount home theater seating before. I have no idea what the name of the movie is, and frankly I don’t care. There have been so many movies and documentaries about Hitler in the past that it is a waste of time to try and keep track of them.

One of the best things about the internet is the ease at which you can find people who are complete FAIL. Every second of the day someone is failing at life. Failing in a way that is not only humiliating, but hilarious to everyone who sees it. With the internet there is no escape from your legendary FAIL. You will be FAIL forever because you can’t take it back. No…this isn’t a public service message on how to keep from FAIL on the internet. It is to give you an idea of just how bad people fail by telling you about a site dedicated to FAIL.

The FAILBlog does a lot of things I do here, but they have a lot of FAIL already documented so there is no reason for me to copypasta all of their work and try to take credit for it now is there? They have dedicated their site to Pictures and Videos of OWNED, PWNED, and FAIL Moments. Idiots falling off swing sets, terribly placed ads that mock serious stories, etc. Simply put, they embarrass those that truly need to be embarrassed. If you found your way here you will find your way there and find what they post top notch. Hey…it will at least kill half a morning of work for you ;).