On October 7th, 2004 I was diagnosed with medullary thyroid cancer. Shortly thereafter I was told that someone with it spread as much as mine had was given a 16% statistical chance of making it to 5 years. One doctor told me not to listen to statistics so since then I haven't but I can't help but be excited that...

I've made it to FIVE YEARS!!!!!

I can not even begin to express how excited I am about this. Honestly I never thought the cancer itself would kill me before the five year mark but all the other medical stuff has had me worried. The lack of adrenal glands can get pretty scary (almost dying last year was quite traumatizing) and had me wondering if it was going to cause my time to be up. Making it five more years means my body might be scarred, broken, in pain all the time, and sickly but my spirit is holding it all together just fine. I can't wait for my TEN year anniversary. *smile*

So I just want to thank all my friends who have been with me on this ride. Thank you for the calls, gifts, quilts, love, cards, thoughts, and prayers. You have no idea how much they have meant to me. Thank you for listening to me rant and yes, even cry. Thank you for not giving up even though I know some of you have been scared to death.

Here's to another five years. And then another... and another... and another.... haha.

I have chosen to repost this each year so yes, you've seen pretty much this exact post on here before. *wink* I don't do this to get attention for my poem but just as my own small way of reminding myself and anyone who reads this to remember, learn, and honor our heroes not just from that day but everyday.

This is a poem I wrote eight years ago today as I watched the events of 9/11 unfold. I'm afraid it's a very raw poem and not very "professional" but it was my heart that day. My heart hurt for those who had so suddenly lost loved ones, hatred took root as I wondered what kind of monsters could be that sick and demented, and fear took hold as I worried if my children were now suddenly in danger."Our Darkest Day" was published a year later in the book "911: The Day America Cried". All proceeds benefit the Todd Beamer Foundation & I am proud to say I did not receive a single penny of any of it! :)

Our Darkest Day Somewhere today a child cries For a mother who’ll never come homeA wife waiting to hear from her mateSits shaking by the phone.A sister thinks about words she saidAnd knows she can’t take backA brother screams out ‘Why us God?!’As dust settles from the attackIn streets usually alive with bustleNow silence and sirens are all that’s heardFamilies looking for signs of hopeJust waiting for a word.In the shadows of a tragedyA nation is mourning from sea to seaWho could have done such a thing?Who can this demon be?So many questions left unansweredSo much pain left to be feltBut as a nation we swear to our deadThat justice will be dealt.For they may have struck a horrible blowBut they failed to remember one thingThat even on our Darkest DayThe bells of Liberty ring.Jolene Coiner9/11/01© Jolene Coiner BurzyckiAnd yes, this was back when I still felt a little patriotic so if you know me now just shoosh. *smile*

First I want to ask for thoughts and prayers for my heart sister, Carrie. She has been pretty sick lately going in and out of the hospital. I worry about her and hate when her health isn't good. Right now she is in ICU so I'd just appreciate you thinking of her and sending her love.I also want to share the blog links of some friends who have made me laugh and just stare in awe at times. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do...Jami at Datewrecks- If anyone could make you laugh and gag about online dating it's her! She's also a strong and amazing single mama who I'm proud of.Kari at Not So Normal Girl- She's one of the most awesome single moms I know and I'm so proud of her.Eliza at Life Of A Home Mom- She is one of the hardest working bloggers I know. Girl has so many sites and busts her butt daily to try to bring in a little extra money for her family. You gotta respect that.Dave at A Pile Of Dog Bones- He's so funny and not afraid to tell you how it is. A few years ago he lost his son to an accident and even though he was seriously hurting (what parent wouldn't when confronted with their worst nightmare?) he handled it all in such a way that I have been in awe of him ever since. His strength is inspiring and I hope to have half the grace he does some day.Katie at Divinely Crafty- Katie is a sweetheart and a perfect fit in her adopted home of England."Madame Meow" at Daily Dose of Zen Sarcasm- She has been an awesome blog friend and I think one of my first regular commenters back when nobody really gave a crap what I wrote. LMAO. Always something worth reading on her blog and she even makes ya think!Andrew at Comic Book Marks- I'm going to forgive him THIS time for not telling me about this blog but at least by having it I can still include him.I "met" Andrew through a coupon blog he ran and we hit it off in such a neat way that I don't want to think what it would have been like NOT knowing him. He's like the great guy friend you have who WILL tell you your ass looks big in something, you're acting like a dumbass, or what you said is lame. Our "relationship" is one of those odd ones where if we don't cut down each other at least once per conversation then something is seriously fucked up! If he lived closer I would consider him my man-friend date buddy and totally raise hell with him. Actually, I don't think society could take the two of us in one place. hahahaMeg at Get In Hang On- My very first New Mexico friend (and then she moved dammit!). Our daughters are still friends and I'm so lucky to know her.Doc at Doc's Sunrise Rants- Do I really need to explain Doc? Doc should have her own religious following. *snort*Robin at Homework- She kicks ass at knitting and makes me jealous regularly. She's also sarcastic as hell which you know means I'm won over for life!Jessica aka my Mormon Puddin' Pop at Did I Read The Fine Print?- My hot dogs and Kool-Aid buddy even though I once sent her the one damn flavor that she's allergic to. *blush*Tara at MamaMojo- Seriously, how many woman do you know who can actually ROCK dreads? Girlfriend kicks at it!"VodkaMom" at Waitress Bring Me Another and Vodkamom. Personally I think it takes balls with all the critics and whiners to make blogs with "martini" and "vodka" anywhere on them. She openly says screw the pristine mommy shit and I love that!Ron and Andrea at Atypical Life- They also started Homeschool Journal which is awesome! When I first started my homeschool blog I hated the idea of being stuck with Homeschool Blogger (not one for the fundie shit) and these two were so cool that they made an alternative for us. In case I haven't said it lately...thank you both.Amy at Saint Amy Jane- You know, there could be nothing I like about her & I still would have fallen in love with the badassness & tattoos. lmao. There's alot to like about her though and she makes me really think.Jenny at Gus' Gang- She took the loss of her child and turned it into a lifelong mission to reach out to others. She's another one I admire and I hope you will read about some of the beautiful children on her blog.Maddy at Whitterer on Autism- Another wonderful person who commented when no one really gave a shit. An awesome mama who has two children with Autism. Add to the list of people I want to be when I grow up.and anyone else on my Blogroll is worth checking out. They are all cool in their own way and I'm proud to know them.

When you don't blog constantly like you use to you come to expect certain things NOT happening like not having alot of readers anymore, fewer comments, less writing offers, and definitely fewer awards from other bloggers because well... you're not blogging about anything now are you? LOLWell Melanie at Running Without Being Chased thought of me when it was time for her to pass on the Queen of Awe-Summm award which totally blew me away. Thank you very much, Melanie for completely making my day. I feel so cool again now. :)The steps to becoming a Queen are...1. List Seven Things That Make You Awe-Summm! 2. Pass the award on to seven bloggers you read religiously. 3. Tag those seven bloggers.Seven Things That Make Me Awe-summm-oh boy this is going to be hard because I don't think of myself as awesome. Hmmmm.1- I have awe-summm genes when it comes to my kids. They look like me, act like me, and even have my sarcastic sense of humor rather than their donor's (hubby not included) ugly, bland, ignorant ass stupidity. *snort* Yes, I'm taking credit for having the stronger genes in this case so shup!!2- I have awe-summm friends who make me more awe-summm just by knowing them. I feel very lucky when it comes to my friends.3- Despite a screwed up childhood I've turned out fairly normal which I think is pretty awe-summm.4- I am an awe-summm left-handed person. We lefties are in a league of our own I tell ya (okay so we're weird shup!).5- I'm able to always have a sense of humor no matter what life throws at me. Hell, I even joke about cancer leasing space in my body. I RULE!!! Just kidding, maybe this award is affecting my ego. Dammit!6- Speaking of which, it is majorly fucking awe-summm that this October will mark FIVE years that I've been living with cancer. Statistics have had me at a 16% chance of making it this far since the beginning but I've always known that as long as this shit keeps it's hands off my bones, I'll be kicking for awhile yet. *smile*7- I think it's pretty damn awe-summm that I actually made it through all seven of these! LMFAO.Okay now it's time to pass the award on to some of my fave ladies...Doc- Totally fucking awesome I tell you!Meg- Awesome lady I had the privilege to get to know before she moved back to Indiana.Robin- Awesome sarcastic knitting bitch whom I adoreRayne- Even when I didn't post she still read my blog. So awesome!Jessica- My awesome Mormon Puddin' PopJami- She awesomely rocks my socks and her blog kicks ass!Summer- She's wired for awesomeness!So here's your award bitches. Don't say I never give ya anything. HAHA

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I have become somewhat of a hermit ever since my neck surgery in 2005. At first I hid away because I got tired of people staring at my neck all the time and just didn't want to have to face them. After that I pulled back even more from society because I was grumpy and in no mood to put up with people who were stupid or petty. Eventually pain was what kept me home more often than anything else and instead of fighting that I just let it.It hasn't been fair to my kids because alot of the time they are trapped in this house with me. I'm not saying I cut us all off from the rest of the world or anything but since we moved outside of town we've not been going out and exploring as much. I hate that and miss our adventures. The kids still play outside, go to the park, take walks, etc but going into town hasn't been as often.Now Big B is starting college and Sis is starting at the charter school which means that it will mostly just be MonkeyBoy and I from now on. I plan on filling the year with new adventures but I've also realized that I need to start making adventures for myself as well.So on that thought I have signed up for a Tai Chi class on Tuesday evenings at the local Community Center ($2 a class how could I NOT?) and Bellydancing class at a studio on Wednesday evenings. I have to travel an hour and a half round trip for the Bellydancing class but I've decided that it's worth it and I deserve it. *smile* My rheumotologist has recommended Tai Chi before so that should be good for the fibro and maybe bellydancing will loosen some of the stiff muscles up a little so I can have more mobility.Of course, I could just end up in even more pain too. I think it's worth a try and worst case I start but have to stop to keep pain at bay. I won't really be any worse off than I am now and hopefully I will be better off than now so it's worth it.I chose Tai Chi because it has fluid movements that won't jerk my body around causing more pain plus I'm hoping it will help me with meditation and focus. I chose bellydancing because it looks like fun and if I'm going to be stuck in this body then I might as well learn to like it a little more right?I hope that once I start shakin' my hips I'll be able to get the damn things to STOP cuz mama's fanny has more volume than it use to! Just kidding. Not about the volume but the stopping part. *snicker*So wish me luck and I might post pics of Tai Chi but don't even ask about the other! Ha Ha.

I just wanted to do a quick post and say I hope everyone had a really nice day. Hopefully you had some fun, good food, and time with loved ones.While I could do without most of the day personally, watching all the fireworks that my neighbors set off with the kids was really great. I must say that watching all the personal fireworks while sitting in my backyard went above and beyond anything we might have seen with the crowds in town.For two hours people set off fireworks that lit up the sky and I honestly don't think there was a single break during that time. Very cool and enjoyable!I would love to say we had a great bbq meal but alas we were stuck with the worst shrimp enchiladas I've ever had the misfortune of eating due to my husband's anal need to find a new recipe (the kids and I LIKE our regular recipe thank you very much). WHAT is wrong with grilling I ask you?By unanimous decision the children and I are voting him out of all future participation in holidays. He only has himself to blame and hopefully he will learn his lesson. You don't mess with tradition. At the very least you don't cook nasty food and feed it to your family on a holiday. hahahaSeriously though, enjoy your holiday weekend everyone and stay safe.

Well as of yesterday Big B is a student at UNM here in New Mexico. I can't believe my boy is a college student already. *sigh* At this point he is going to start towards his degree in Geothermal/Earth Resources Engineering but will have to actually finish that degree at another university since it's not offered here. There are several colleges in the States and overseas that offer the degree so he has some wonderful options. I'm really excited for him and it's nice to see him so excited about something as well.Sis will be starting high school at a new charter school we have that not only covers basic academics but also focuses on the Arts. She'll be able to work at her own pace on a specialized program designed just for her. I absolutely LOVE that! Sis will also have the option of taking classes like Web Design, Digital Photography, Sculpture, Oil Painting, and so on. I can't wait to see what classes she chooses for herself.The school is also new with only 125 students in grades 7th-9th so I think it's a good way for her to transition from homeschool to a more public form of schooling. I am just so much happier with this option than the public school one for the coming years. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a pub-school hater but I am definitely a New Mexico public education hater! haha.MonkeyBoy will be my only homeschooler this year and I'm really excited for this year. MonkeyBoy LOVES to learn and soaks up everything like a sponge so it should be an awesome adventure. I can't even say what "grade" he is going into because he's spanned across three grades right now. I love that about homeschooling!So all three kids are taking their own special paths this fall when it comes to learning and I'm really very happy for them. Even though I will only still be homeschooling MonkeyBoy I plan on posting updates on all three kids on Sona Creidhe so keep looking there to check on the heathens edjumakasion. LOLBig B also recently got his latest 24 hour urine test results back and I posted about it on our medical blog- HERE. Feel free to read as it's pretty good news.

I'm feeling a little "deep" tonight and remembered this poem by Erma Bombeck. To me it is a reminder to stop and reevaluate life every so often. To slow down and remember what is truly important to me.

I have actually been trying to treat this poem as somewhat of a motto lately and live by it more. Especially since stressing myself out over total crap could literally kill me. There is so much in life that can't be controlled but at least how I view it can be.

I know this blog has gone totally down hill in the last six months but hopefully you can forgive me. I've been trying to be more present for my kids which doesn't allow alot of time for blogging. I miss it but I think I missed them more so I will try to blog but if I don't just know that it's because I'm loving my heathens.

If I Had My Life To Live Over

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the "good" living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed. I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching TV - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love yous"...more "I'm sorrys"...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it...live it...and never give it back.

Erma Bombeck

So much to catch up on and no clue where to start. Let's see, first I would like to brag that MonkeyBoy is in his first year of Tee-ball where he is having a blast! Watching these little kids run around the bases or trying to hit the ball is just so much fun. His first game is April 14th so I'm both excited and nervous for him.

Oh and you should see their little uniforms!!! TOO CUTE!! Their team is the Pirates making the uniform shirt black with yellow lettering, gray pants, black socks, their hats are black with a yellow "P" on it. He looks so cool when he has the whole thing on. *smile*

The downside to their uniforms is that there will be times they will be playing in almost 100 degree heat so wearing mostly black will not work in their favor during those times. Ugh.

Another fun thing to share is that my oldest is an assistant coach for MonkeyBoy's team so I get to watch both my boys in action at the same time. BigB has so much patience with the kids (and believe me there are some wild ones!) and I'm so proud of him. He takes his time teaching them to catch, throw, and bat without ever losing his cool. I'm so proud of the man he is becoming.

BigB will also be graduating from high school by the end of May then going on to start his college courses. At this point he is leaning towards a degree in metallurgical engineering but obviously he's free to change his mind many times before he has to decide for sure. I'm so sad to see my kids growing up already but so happy that they have turned out to be so smart and completely awesome. I'm very very lucky.

Speaking of BigB, his scumbag donor, Kirk A. Coiner, is now on welfare and personally I am disgusted with the state of Oregon. Here sits a perfectly healthy and able to work male on welfare, getting assistance with housing, food, utilities, and going to college for free (which is something his son doesn't get to do) all while he is not paying a single penny of the $350 a month he's suppose to pay. He now owes almost $30,000 in back child support yet Oregon does nothing. If someone from the Oregon Division of Child Support (Roseburg office) or their welfare department could enlighten me as to why they are allowing this I would be very grateful. I won't hold my breath though don't worry.

Sis is getting ready to start public High School in the fall thus ending her time homeschooling. On one hand I'm sad to see her go but I also think it will be good for her in alot of ways. While still at home though she is finally enjoying reading making her mama a very happy woman. LOL. So far she has torn through the Twilight Series, the Maximum Ride series by James Patterson, and a few horror books. I'm glad she is finally enjoying reading and seeing for herself how relaxing yet fun it can be.

Sis is also now in 4-H with my friend, Leah's, teens and really liking it so far. She has missed a few meetings but we're hoping she will be to able to enjoyparticipate in 4-H more soon. Once Sis starts school she plans on joining a few activities there which will probably keep BOTH of us busy and out of trouble. Again, I'm so proud of her and she is such an amazing young woman. I couldn't ask for a more fantastic daughter.

I haven't been up to much really. In November I finally had a hysterectomy which went really well. It was so nice finally having a surgery that went like it was suppose to. We found out after the surgery that I had adenomyosis and if you read that link then I'll say that I was one of the "hot coal" analogy people. Life was miserable and every single time I ate anything at all for over two years I would get sick. It sucked because on top of the pain each month I had to deal with not being able to eat out anywhere for fear of what came afterwards. I also had at least two doctors during that time basically say I was making it all up.

Thankfully though as soon as I had the hysterectomy the "hot coal" symptoms went away and I have enjoyed being normal (at least in that aspect) ever since. It has also been amazing to know that I don't have to worry about pregnancy anymore which was a huge fear of mine since I could pass MEN2a on to any child I have. Now I'm free from both fear and pain which has made me much happier.

On the cancer front I'm just going to bow out for now because it's just not even worth going over. I'm just tired of it all and don't want to play anymore. Sorry.

I am still homeschooling MonkeyBoy who is amazingly smart and tons of fun to teach. He learns from literally everything around him which in turn teaches me more as well. It's been really great having this time with him.

So that's it in a nutshell. Of course there are tons of things I could post about that have happened over the months but I'm sure they are far more interesting to me than they ever would be to anyone reading this blog and I'm still a little bit weird about posting too much about my kids. I'm always more than happy though to say that they are truly a treasure and the light in my life. Obviously they have their times and screw up just like we all do but in the end I have been so lucky to have the kids I do. I wouldn't ask for any other heathens even if I could.

Besides, when your children are basically carbon copies of you it's hard to drop the little cretons off somewhere and NOT have someone return them so I suppose I am just stuck with them. *wink*

Yes, I know I haven't written in many months and you have no clue how many times I have started a post only to delete it because my heart just wasn't in it. Blogging just honestly hasn't ranked very high on the priority list lately I guess and for that I apologize to those of you who read here.Tonight though I read something that broke my heart and I knew that I couldn't just ignore it and not post.Those of you who have followed my blog have read my posts having to do with Lisa from Clusterfook. The woman is amazing as she has been through cancer three times now. Her strength and outlook through it all taught me alot about how to handle living with cancer with grace and an immense amount of class.Unfortunately I have just read that she is now in the final days of her battle and it breaks my heart. She was realistic from the beginning about her chances of making it through this time but I'll be honest and say I really hoped she would beat the odds and come out okay. She deserved a break this time, you know?So my point of making my first post back blogging about Lisa is so that anyone who reads will add her and her family (she is leaving behind a husband and two young daughters) to your thoughts, prayers, loving vibes, or whatever you do as she is very deserving of them. From what I've read, she has fought as hard as she could and dealt with the pain long enough. Please hope she is finally able to be at peace as much as it breaks my heart to ask for her passing.Lisa- I know you will never read this but thank you for sharing your life with us online and for the emails that helped me become better about living with my own cancer. Thank you for being so amazing, graceful, classy, and honest no matter what. I hope I can one day be even have the woman you are. You've set the bar very high sweetheart.Go in peace, dear.

This is a poem I wrote seven years ago today as I watched the events of 9/11 unfold. I'm afraid it's a very raw poem and not very "professional" but it was my heart that day. My heart hurt for those who had so suddenly lost loved ones, hatred took root as I wondered what kind of monsters could be that sick and demented, and fear took hold as I worried if my children were now suddenly in danger."Our Darkest Day" was published a year later in the book "911: The Day America Cried". All proceeds benefit the Todd Beamer Foundation & I am proud to say I did not receive a single penny of any of it! :)Our Darkest Day Somewhere today a child cries For a mother who’ll never come homeA wife waiting to hear from her mateSits shaking by the phone.A sister thinks about words she saidAnd knows she can’t take backA brother screams out ‘Why us God?!’As dust settles from the attackIn streets usually alive with bustleNow silence and sirens are all that’s heardFamilies looking for signs of hopeJust waiting for a word.In the shadows of a tragedyA nation is mourning from sea to seaWho could have done such an awful thing?God, who can this demon be?So many questions left unansweredSo much pain left to be feltBut as a nation we swear to our deadThat justice will be dealt.For they may have struck a horrible blowBut they failed to remember one thingThat even on our Darkest DayThe bells of Liberty ring.Jolene Coiner9/11/01© Jolene Coiner Burzycki

I know I haven't posted anything in awhile and I know it's hard to want to read here when I never fucking post BUT I've felt like total ass for almost a month now. I can't even pinpoint it down to one certain thing either... I just feel like out and out ass.Some good news is that I've finally found a good rheumatologist and she is truly awesome! The only downside is that she is the third rheum to confirm that I have fibromyalgia (when others are having a hard time getting ONE doc to diagnose them I've got three! HA) and she even called it, "Very bad fibromyalgia". *sigh* Dammit.I'm behind on everything at this point. I have reviews that are past overdue, blog posts on my blogs that should go up sometime this century, and I even have fucking snail mail letters that I owe some good friends! The only thing I'm not behind on is laundry and that's just because my daughter gets all weird if she doesn't have clean clothes. *snicker*Tomorrow I have an abdominal ultrasound to look for a reason why I get sick everytime I eat and any day now I should find out when my next cancer scans are so we can see if the rotten little bastards have gotten any bigger in my lungs and neck. Personally I could give a shit less because the answer is still the same whether they've grown or not. Blah. My cancer marker is all over the place as well. One test it's higher and then the next test it's a little lower. Not even that can be normal. hahaWhile I'm sure this post comes across as depressed I'm actually feeling really sarcastic so if you read it as alot of sarcasm then you've got my mood. I gave up being depressed over this crap awhile ago and now I just get snotty about it. I figure you can either laugh, cry, or just stick your middle finger in the air and say "screw you". I'm more of a "screw you" kinda gal myself how about you?

I use to be one of those people who could blog everyday but for some reason lately that has all changed. The only thing I could think of for a post tonight was a mysterious story about these characters who are all killed in the end by the same vile dastardly villain. Sounds okay, right?

Um yeah, the story was about my vegetable plants and the vile dastardly villain is ME because I can't get a single damn thing to grow so they are all going to die a horrible death!!! We're talking hacked to bits by a weed wacker here. Don't worry, by the second paragraph I knew I couldn't make anyone else read that crap. *snort*

So I asked MonkeyBoy what mommy should write about on her blog and I'm afraid his answer was, "Write about how last night...in the bed...Daddy did that real nasty fart...in the bed...and I got way away from him because I didn't want his stinky fart all over me". Needless to say, he was disappointed when I told him that all daddies fart nasty so it was really no big deal.

Instead you are left with a Blaugh cartoon that pretty much covers my entire blog. A lot of NOTHING!! hahahaha

trying to be funny all the time it's hard figuring out how to post in a whole different way. I can still be funny but now I can be serious and not feel bad about it. It's a little odd for me. Of course, right after I posted "coming out" about cancer on this blog I get sick and don't have a chance to post again for awhile. *snort* Things have been pretty busy around here over the past week. We're getting ready to start our new homeschool year which means I'm trying to figure out "curriculum" for a high schooler, middle schooler, and a kindergartner. Wheeeee fun! *eyeroll* So far it's not going so well because I can't get Big B to help me figure out what he needs for his final year and Sis doesn't want to do anything at all. Only MonkeyBoy is ready to go and can't wait to start his schoolwork. We have until Monday to get our shit together so we can get started so wish me luck. One thing that IS going right around here is the work on our backyard. It has gone from a 46x50' square of nothing but sand, ants, and thorns to a pretty yard with a shed, flowers, trees, gravel borders, grass, and a flagstone patio (thank you Craigslist!!!). Hubby has been laughing his ass off at me lately because the roses he bought and planted are blooming like crazy while the container vegetables I planted have not produced a single solitary veggie or fruit. Damn plants! Once the yard is completely finished I will share pictures of it's awesome loveliness. Okay so I also want to make people drool over how kick ass my backyard looks without having spent a fortune on it. *snicker* As far as health goes, I'm waiting on a referral to a cancer specialist in St. Louis and once I have that then hopefully I won't have to wait too long for an appointment. On one hand I'm not looking forward to being away from the kids (surprising I know, I must to be fucked in the head!) but on the other hand it will be nice to see my friends who live in St Louis. I haven't actually hung out with a bunch of other women in so long I hope I still remember how. Geez, when did I become so pathetically uncool? lol

As most of my readers know I have metastatic cancer but I'm sure you also know that I've tried very hard to keep that part of my life off this blog. It seems as soon as I told my readers about this part of me I did them and myself the disservice of pretending that it's no big deal and then proceeded to joke my way through the last few years. I now realize that by doing this I'm not facing it but instead pretending it's not there. By making sure most of my medical posts are on Cancer Is The "Easy" Part..., I have been able to make Life With Heathens the place where I am normal and just like everybody else. If I could delegate the cancer and MEN2a to my medical blog then I could pretend it's not there right? This year though it has gotten harder for me to seperate the two because at times life really is all about the cancer and health issues whether I want it to be or not. So instead of trusting you guys (and myself) to be able to take the whole package I've just not been posting much. For that I apologize to all of us.There is a mama named Lisa at Clusterfook who is fighting her third battle with cancer. She is facing this newest trial with such grace and she is so inspiring to others of us who are living with cancer. Even faced with the knowledge that the odds are against her this time to beat it, she is fighting with everything she has. This lady and others like her have unknowingly given me a great gift. That gift is accepting that the cancer and disorder are a part of me, a part that is going to be with me until I die. I've never felt sorry for myself and even when I was diagnosed I really didn't cry much at all. When my oldest two children were diagnosed with MEN2a and cancer then you better believe I cried. It sucked so bad and was so unfair. All the diagnosis' hit us so quickly that all I could think in the midst of it was "What the fuck"!From now on I will be posting about ALL parts of my life except one and that is my children. I don't mind blogging about them occasionally but I will never be one of those bloggers who talks about their kid's shit or how cute they look wearing mommy's bra on their head. So blogging about my kids will continue the same as it always has. What will change is that I will share the "sick girl" part of my life with you more and not relegate it just to a medical blog.I have nothing to be ashamed of and shouldn't be hiding from my cancer. I shouldn't feel like I have to be funny all the time so people who read this blog won't get bummed out. I can still be my usual sarcastic funny self but it's okay to also admit that sometimes I'm not doing so hot. As someone said earlier, I'm part of an exclusive club. I didn't ask to join it and I will never be happy to see new members come in but I'm proud of the person I've become in the last three years since I was diagnosed. I'm stronger, smarter, a better person, a better mother, and more alive than I've ever been.So on a brighter note, I have been able to do a little blogsurfing lately and I'd like to share some of these amazing people with you. Most of them probably have no clue I even exist but I know they are out there and that I'm really not the only mom/person dealing with cancer. I hope you will read their blogs and maybe leave them an encouraging comment. Some are new finds while others have been in my blogroll both here and at CITEP. Hope For HollyWeebles Wobble But They Don't Fall Down (this woman's HUSBAND also has cancer! Amazing!)The Assertive Cancer PatientClergygirlCoffee and ChemoMom With Over 100 ChemosJust Enjoy HimCancer Is Killing Me...One Mother With CancerMidwestern Mommy

Have you ever had the feeling that everyone in the known universe is out to get you? Up until today, I've been thinking that it's mostly just doctors who have it out for me. *nervous laugh* Boy have I been wrong!Today I had a dental appointment to have molds made of my teeth and I figured that since my top right molar has been hurting me lately, I would ask the dentist if we could have it pulled soon. It just so happens that he was able to do it today so silly me thought it would just be a regular run of the mill tooth pulling. I am happy to say that the tooth came out like a normal tooth and the pain hasn't been all that bad.No, the bad part happened about two hours ago when I felt something hard moving around in my mouth. Thinking it was part of my tooth coming out, I pulled the object out to find not a tooth but a DRILL BIT!! That's right, the dentist had failed to inform me that at some point he broke the end off of a drill bit in my mouth. Maybe it's just me but I think that's something that should be shared with a patient don't you? Even my husband was shocked and believe me, it takes A LOT to surprise that man!So tomorrow I get the pleasure of calling the dentist's office and asking them what the hell they were thinking (or not thinking) by not letting me know that there could be a piece of metal floating around in my tooth socket. I'm so fucking sick of incompetant doctors I could honestly scream. *sigh*I would now like to open comments to anyone else who would like to share their dental horror story for the sake of making ME feel better. Just kidding but I would like to hear your stories in hopes that it's not just me that attracts crap like this.

After checking Statcounter today I couldn't help but post about some of the recent searches people have done thus bringing them to MY blog. Are you ready? Here we go...1) "how to get friends naked at a party"~ Well I've found that lots of booze and a nice game of Nakey Twister gets things going.2) "girls talking about getting naked with friends"~ Okay, typical male there. FYI, usually when "girls" talk about getting naked with friends it's because they are trying on clothes at the mall or just comfortable to go in the buff. It's not half as kinky as you wish.3) "naked friends"~ Yes dear Googler, some people have naked friends. Good job Einstein! 4) "revenge i have the cell phone number address driver license info"~ Wow, someone is obsessing aren't they? I'm all for going after someone who has done you wrong (which is blatantly apparent if you read my deadbeat posts here on the blog or visit my MySpace page) but go slow there tiger. If you have that info for constructive reasons like to get say child support or such then go for it but doing it for out and out senseless revenge makes you bordering on stalking sweety. Get a hobby mmmkay?5) "real naked massages"~ Most full body massages DO have you get naked genius but I'm afraid they won't play with your wittle peepee as part of it. Ask the guys at the local truckstop where to get one of the "me so horny" kinds of massages.

6) "why does joanne have to be such a bitch?!"~ Well, maybe Joanne was just born a bitch and can't help herself. Maybe entering a program like Bitches Anonymous will help Joanne stop being such a bitch. Does Joanne think she's a bitch? Maybe YOU are the bitch. Think about it my friend...

Is anyone else seeing a theme going on here? *snort*7) "hot nakey"~ Hot nakey what?? Great, now I'm left wondering what the hell they wanted hot nakey of! DAMN YOUUUUU!!!8) "kirk coiner"~ The searches for this one have come from several states. Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm9) "how to get woman naked in hot tub"~ Please see Google search number 1. Here's a thought though, why don't you just ask her if she'll strip for the hot tub? *shrugging shoulders*and last but not least...10) "doing house chores naked video"~ Yeah, I'm not touching that one with a 20 foot poll. Some people have issues even I can't explain. *wink*

Today I saw this meme on a new blog I came across (thanks to her linking to me first. haha) called So Anyway... and thought it looked cool. I also felt it was an easy ass way for me to finally do a new post without actually using any brain cells.Enjoy!!Accent: I honestly don't have one. I moved so often before the age of 18 that I never had enough time to pick one up.Breakfast or no breakfast: most times I'm a no breakfast gal but some mornings I'm just a hungry bitch.Chore I don’t care for: All of them? I am an equal opportunity chore hater- I hate them all equally. *smile*Dog or Cat: We've got three cats so I should say cat so I at least look loyal.Essential Electronics: Computer definitely computerFavorite Cologne: Don't have oneGold or Silver: Both. It's all about the bling, color ain't no thang! *snort*Handbag I carry most often: This bohemoth black leather thingInsomnia: I gots itJob Title: Domestic Engineer, Professional Product Reviewer, Toy Expert, anything that makes me sound more important than I really am.Kids: Well when a man and a woman love each other... oh you mean how many do I have? Three heathens. Do you want me to finish the reproduction lesson still?Living Arrangements: All I know is that a large hairy guy walks around my house between the hours of 8-11am and 8-10pm so I guess we have a living arrangement of sorts. He pays the bills and sometimes I show him a little leg. *wink wink*Most Admirable Trait: I'd rather laugh than cry?Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Getting drunk for the first time at age 11 probably wasn't a good girl thing was it?Overnight hospital stays: Thanks to this disorder and cancer, more than I care to remember.Phobias: heights, deep water, one of my kids dying, claustrophobiaQuote: "Your ass!"Reason to smile: My kidsSiblings: I refuse to claim them!!! You can't make me!!Time I wake up: Usually around 8am unless I'm sick and then it's 10amUnusual Talent or Skill: I'd teach ya but I'd have to charge. *snicker* Okay so I really have no clue.Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: Sweet PotatoesWorst Habit: It's a tie between biting my nails and drinking a 2ltr of soda a day.X-rays: Yeah, see the "Hospital Stays" answerYummy Stuff: Cheesecake. It's the nectar of the Gods I tell you!!Zoo Animal I Like Most: Hmmmm I'd say the hippo because she knows her ass is big and she's okay with that. She's an inspiration to us all... let your ass expand and you too can spend all day in the pool!So who else is going to give this a try huh? If you don't you're a big ol' WUSSY! That's right, I said it...WOO-say! Oh geez, now I'm channeling Mrs. Fussypants. ahaha

Okay, Google pervs first- look around and you'll see that this isn't a porn site and the title is a HUGE tease. Finished reading? Questions? No? Okay bye.For everyone else, the title of this post came to me Friday while I was spending time with my friend Leah (whom I met through our blogs and only lives about three miles from me). On the way home I told her that I was going to do a post titled "Real Friends Get Naked" and she's a rotten snot like me and said, "Oh do it!". *snort*After my doctor appointment, Leah and I went to Betty's Bath and Spa to treat ourselves to a one hour massage. I'm almost ashamed to admit that this was my very first massage. When Leah suggested it last month, I decided that I deserved a little pampering for once so I picked her up at work Friday and off we went. Our first stop was a restaurant called Mannie's in Nob Hill for lunch. Leah works at the local college and eats there on occasion so it sounded like a good place to start our day. The food was pretty good and it was nice to just sit and talk to her for awhile. Usually when we're around each other there are kids vying for our attention! Once lunch was over we headed to the spa and I have to say it was such an awesome experience that I will definitely be going again...SOON!! *smile* The first thing we did was put on our comfy robes and "snazzy" flip flops then head over to the couch to wait for our wonderful massage therapists. We then went into our assigned room and honestly didn't say a single word to each other the whole hour that we were both getting massages. I think we were both enjoying the silence that neither of us gets at home with our families. Haha

After the massages we headed put to the hot tub for a nice soak. At this spa there is a communal hot tub where both men and women can go but bathing suits are required and then in the women's hot tub (which is the one we used) it's clothing optional. I have to say that this was a very freeing experience for me because I grew up with the whole "you should be ashamed of your naked body" stigma. I was one of those girls in Junior High who would take her clothes into a stall and get dressed so I didn't have to see the other girls naked and vice versa.

This was MY day though so just like all the other women I tossed off my robe and enjoyed a nice nakey soak in the hot tub. That is when "Real Friends Get Naked" hit me and I couldn't wait to tell Leah. You know you're bonding with your friend when you see them nakey on your second "date". I'd say it will be pretty hard for us to top that one anytime soon but considering that we're planning on making our Mama's Day Out a regular accurance, that means more nakey friends time!! Woot woot!!! *laughing hard*

We rounded out the day with a trip to a little local book store, the Library, Sunflower Market to pic up some sushi for Hubby Guy, and then had a nice chat on the way home. Sunday the youngest two kids and I went over to her house for her son's third birthday party. It was alot of fun and her little boy was so cute opening his presents. The boy definitely likes tractors! LOL.

Thank you Leah for talking me into going to the spa. I had a great time and really enjoyed your company. Thank you also for inviting us to W's party. MonkeyBoy had alot of fun and is still talking about how great his first attended party was.

Before I give the newest update I would like to say that since my original post on Kirk Coiner I have found out many things. One of them is that he tells people that he gave up parental rights to my son a long time ago when in reality, he's never even asked to do so. My son thought he was beyond being hurt by this asshole but hearing that really did hit him. How would you feel if your "father" lied to people that you weren't his anymore? Only a heartless scumbag can do something like that.I also was in touch with Wifey3 several times through MySpace and in those messages she informed both myself and the mother of Kirk's other child that she was working on getting the kids' payments and that Kirk cared sooooo much for his kids. Wifey2 (I won't use her name out of respect for her. I actually LIKE her! lol) even went so far as to allow Kirk one last chance at contact with his daughter. In return she got a bullshit letter from the WIFEY, nothing from Kirk, and never heard from him again. The daughter is several years younger than my son (11 years old at present I believe) so can you imagine the devestation she must have felt? Thankfully her mother found a wonderful man a long time ago that is a great father to her. So while some might think I'm just a vengeful bitch the truth is that I do this because it's not me being hurt but my child. It's not Wifey2 being hurt but her daughter. These two kids never did a damn thing to this man. They never abandoned him, hurt him, or showed him that everything else in the world was more important than him. In the beginning all they (and we mothers) wanted from Kirk was for him to be a father for his children. When we realized that wasn't going to happen then all we asked was that he help pay to raise his children. When that didn't work we pretty much both gave up on ever getting anything from him (money or care for his children). I for one am tired of custodial parents having to give up and let these assholes just walk away. Our courts and legal system don't care about these children either so in a way they are just as bad as the deadbeat. In my experience, state child support offices work for the deadbeats and not the children. They are more worried about contacting the deadbeat ninety million times and letting them lie than getting anything for our kids. How do we change this? The only way I know of is to write the Senators, Congressmen, and Legislators of the states our cases are in hoping that one of them will care. The other thing we can do is fill the internet as I do with my posts. I can not be sued for them because anything I post can be proven either in writing or firsthand witness willing to sign an affidavit. I have not posted Kirk Coiner's hometown, address, phone number, cell phone number, or Wifey3's cell number even though I have all of the above. My ass is covered so my voice will be heard. Not for myself but for my son.Now to the News I received yesterday...How does one pay LESS when they really don't even pay anything at all? Can anyone tell me that?I received notification that Kirk Coiner has filed for a modification of child support. Obviously the nothing and next to nothing he has paid over the last few years was too much to him. Yes, Kirk Coiner feels that his son isn't worth the $350 a month that he is SUPPOSE to pay. How's that for kicking your own blood in the teeth?This is the second time Kirk Coiner Has done this. The first time he asked that the $140 a month he was suppose to pay be lowered. Yes, LOWERED.The funny thing is that the least Kirk Coiner can claim he makes is minimum wage. I was told today by my support case worker that at minimum wage he will be ordered to pay.... are you ready?... $350!!!! ahahahahahahaEat that you disgusting pathetic piece of shit!

Yes, I'm such a "bitch" that I'm making sure no one forgets that Kirk Coiner is a deadbeat who owes over $20,000 in back child support for his son who is now 17 years old. Oh and even though Kirk Coiner has our mailing address he sent his son NOTHING again for his birthday this year. No card, no gift, no get fucked I don't give a shit....nothing. Nice.Kirk Coiner can take hunting trips, fishing trips, etc but he can't pay steady support. Kirk Coiner can afford internet service (he was on MySpace last night AND today) but he can't pay support OR send his kid a card for his birthday. Way to be a man there.The reason I keep making these posts by the way is because they show up on a Google search and since I leave the MySpace profile and blog open, anyone who is considering hiring Kirk Coiner or anything else can read all about him. Oh and no, Lacey, him getting a job does not mean support for me. It just means more money for him because he doesn't use any of it on his son so I really don't give a shit if I screw up his chance at some job.I also do it because I'm tired of deadbeat dads who go on with their lives never helping their kids or taking care of them. Then they get with these stupid women who don't blame their husbands for being deadbeats but blame the MOTHER because she just wants help raising her child. Yes, to these women it's our fault that their husband is a deadbeat asshole. It's our fault we just want said deadbeat to help raise his child. In their eyes we should just leave the deadbeat alone and let him live his life.GROW THE FUCK UP STUPID BITCHES!!!Kirk Coiner's wife is like this. She throws a fit if her child support for her three kids is even a little late and even took her ex to court demanding her money but I'M a bitch for wanting the same thing. Anyone else think this is pretty fucking stupid?I guess I don't get this kind of thinking because there are times I even write the checks for my husband's child support to his ex. That's money we could surely use BUT it's also money he owes to help raise his daughter.That's what a DECENT person does. That's what someone who isn't SELFISH does. That's what someone who is RESPONSIBLE does. They don't fucking whine because the money isn't going to their own children.Yeah Lacey Coiner, I'm talking to you. And if you two think you deserve a pat on the back for ALMOST paying a full child support payment almost two months ago...think again. I'll pat you on the back when something like that happens more than once a YEAR!*by the way, I typed out "Kirk Coiner" so many times because I would hate for Google to get lost.*snort*

righthand sidebar that is. *smile*A dear lady I have known for about five years just found out that one of her children has A.L.L Leukemia. I can't imagine what she and her husband are feeling and hope never to have to go through what they are going through. It's a very scary thing and beyond imagination unless you actually have a child with Leukemia (which I don't so therefore I personally can NOT imagine).Some wonderful people are holding auctions, gathering money, and have made a widget where you can donate money to help the family financially through this. I ask that even if you only have $5 to spare to please donate it. What would you want if YOUR child were in Serenity's position?You can follow the family's story on the father's blog HERE. Thank you in advance to anyone who takes the time to not only donate but also read about their journey.

When Parent Bloggers Network asked us to review Mama Rock's Rules: Ten Lessons for Raising a Household of Successful Children (Harper Collins) by Rose Rock with Valerie Graham, I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. I will be woman enough to admit that I stereotyped this book as: mom of a comedian means this MUST be a funny book about parenting.While Mrs. Rock does use a sense of humor at times to make her point, I must humbly admit that this is no book of jokes but very real and direct advice from a mother who definitely knows the ropes. That’s right, Rose is a mama who not only survived raising twenty-seven children but raised them all to be successful as well.If you’re anything like me, you are tired of the rows and rows of shiny happy rainbow type parenting books that are currently clogging up book store shelves. You know, the ones that tell you in one book that co-sleeping or time-out is a very bad thing and in the next one both are good for the child? Yes, some of them can be useful but one has to admit that parenting is a down and dirty job that needs blunt down and dirty advice. Filled with common sense and loving determination, Rose Rock shares her ten major principles on raising children the no nonsense way. This book is divided into ten chapters of direct advice that focuses on everything from education and respect to responsibility and discipline. I love how she is able to just lay it all out there in an honest and straight-forward manner. A good way to think of this book is to imagine you are sitting on the couch talking to a good friend or mother figure and they are imparting some of their sage wisdom to you without any bull or sugar coating. Rose reminds you that even though there are things about parenting and raising children we may not like, they are still necessary to raise them in a responsible and successful manner. Covering children of all ages, Mama Rock’s Rules is broken down into ten well-formatted lessons throughout ten chapters. In the book there are “Mama’s Mojo” blurbs and even a mini-lesson recap at the end of each chapter. I liked this because if you missed anything while reading the chapter, the recap would remind you that maybe you need to read it again. When I read Mrs. Rock’s mantra, “I am the parent. You are the child. It’s my job to make the rules and your job to follow” I couldn't help but laugh. You see, that is a lesson I’ve been trying to impart to my own children from the very beginning. Unfortunately it hasn’t worked as well for me as it did her but I’m still trying! Even if you don’t agree with everything in the book, it will definitely make you think about the way you parent. If nothing else I hope you take from this book a new sense of parenting power. Know that it’s okay not to give your child everything they want. If little Suzie doesn’t get an X-box 360 she really won’t die… honest. Giving kids a curfew really is a good idea, not something you just do to ruin their lives, and while it’s okay to be friendly towards your children it’s not okay to care more about being their friend than their parent. The fact that Rose Rock is a big advocate of praise and self-esteem reminded me that it’s okay to be stern with your children and at times even hard on them but do it with love and never use your power as a parent to tear down your child’s sense of self-worth.It’s hard to pick just one chapter that I liked the most but “Don’t Lie Down With Anything You Don’t Want To Live With Forever” had me running to my seventeen year old’s room saying, “See! See! I told you all this and now it’s in a book”! Needless to say, he wasn’t too impressed with me right then. This chapter covers teaching your children to deal with sex and the fact that having sex with someone can alter the rest of your life so you damn well better think before you leap. This is something I’ve always tried to stress to my own teenagers so it was nice to know someone else thought the same way as I do.Mama Rock’s Rules was a fun interesting book to read and well worth picking up. Rose Rock has all the good qualities that we as parents strive for with our own children- humor, pride, love, and a strong will making her an inspiration. When you get a chance, read Rose Rock’s interview on the Today Show and to read more opinions on this book visit Parent Bloggers Network. If you like what you see then get your own copy on Amazon.

getting to knowwwww allll abouttttt youuuuuu. Sorry, couldn't help myself there. *smile*I have decided that in order to get myself blogging regularly again that I am joining in on MommyFest 2008. The nice thing is that they have memes, prizes, and post ideas for me so all I have to do is type the post and they do all the hard work. YAY lazy me!!!So the first thing I'm suppose to do is tell you a little about myself. Well if you want to learn ALOT about me then you are free to read my 100 Useless Facts About Moi. If you only want to know the non-gorey soso stuff then here goes...~ I go by Jo but my full name is Jolene. Yes, my egg donor named me after that gawd awful Dolly Parton song. No, I don't like it when complete strangers sing it to me. Yes, I could possibly hurt you if you sing it anyway.~ I have incurable cancer. Chemotherapy and radiation have no affect on it so we just play a waiting game until the tumors are big enough to operate on. Right now I have tumors in both sides of my neck, under both arms (armpits), in both lungs, and one in my right breast. I've already had several tumors removed from my neck and two from/with my adrenal glands. It's really not as awful as it sounds. At least I have time and that's more than so many others.~ My oldest two children and myself have a rare disorder called MEN2a (multiple endocrine neoplasia type 2a). Basically it causes medullary thyroid cancer, adrenal tumors, and several other small noncancerous things. We caught the thyroid cancer early in the kids and they are now cured of it but mine had already spread so I can not be cured. I also lost my adrenal glands due to tumors and have to live on medication for the rest of my life.~ I'm 6' tall and I really am a natural blonde. My natural haircolor is dirty blonde so of course there are times I will dye it a lighter color but all in all I'm a real blonde. Many people find that hard to believe because I have really dark brown eyebrows. No clue why and not much I can do about it. *laugh*~ I had my first child when I was just barely 16 years old. I also got married for the first time at sixteen thanks to our families. We lasted two years and then the deadbeat became the scumbag that we all know and hate today. His name is Kirk Alexander Coiner by the way and he owes my son over $21,000 in back child support. He whines about how he can't pay it yet he can buy game systems, computer parts, pay for internet, go bass fishing quite often, and afford a truck sooooooooooooo.....~ I love being a mom and I have three really great kids. My husband has been there for the oldest two for eight years now and I am so thankful. My two teenagers are so awesome and they give me very little trouble. Thanks to them the worst things I have to deal with are mouthiness, not doing chores, and my daughter being mad at me because I won't let her wear a bikini. Damn, life is good!That's all I can think of right now. As I said, you can learn pretty much everything else about me by reading my 100 Things post. You are also more than welcome to ask me questions and visit my other blogs...Homeschooling- Sona Creidhe HomeschoolingMedical/Cancer- Cancer Is The "Easy Part... It's Everything Else That's Killing Me!!Reviews- LWH ReviewsKeep coming back throughout the week for more posts.Hugz