I ' ve just been mad busy, that ' s all, with fun things!... Firstively, I ' ve been helping this really delightful friend of my mom ' s get a book ready for publication... So you know how technology tends to make life better and better as time goes on?... Secondively, last week one day I was shopping at T.J. Maxx in Burnsville, and I felt somebody looking at me, so I looked back, only then I was looking at her, so I pretended to be looking at a giant silver vase instead, and then she looked at me some more and finally said, "I read your blog."... I ' d have probably thought of it sooner, but I had been up most of the night because both my eyes and my nose were running like faucets... Then, just before my shopping expedition, I ' d been at urgent care with one of my children, who had a hilarious (really, it ' s frickin ' unbelievable) medical condition that I am not allowed to blog about ... … View Post »

Friday, October 31, 2008 Four Foods: The Halloween Edition I forgot to do this last week, dammit!... OH, man... Do you make garlic bread from scratch or buy frozen?... Share a recipe that calls for mozzarella cheese... Her favorite way to eat it is with home grown tomatoes (all gone... … View Post »

Thursday, October 30, 2008 Celebrating 50 years of cat golfing Hey, Let ' s pretend that my cousin Pat ' s birthday is in October, instead of September, and then this post will be very timely, okay?... It could be that the victim just happened to plan his own party, for the same time and date and place that the surprisers did, right?... After that, it was time for all the non-camping losers to hit the road, while the cool kids retired to the campfire for shit-shooting, joke-telling, ribbing, guffawing, and perhaps a teeny bit of drinking... Pat had some magical crystals that turned the fire pretty colors, only fire already IS pretty colors, but here he is performing the color-enhancement fire wizardry: And here we have a view of Pat ' s camper, lovingly decorated with flamingo lights and HAPPY BIRTHDAY... So about 2:30 a.m., we hopped into the car and were off, only to return in the morning, bright and early because BREAKFAST!... Are you people familiar with this?... Meaty and savory, it might be the most warm, satisfyingly delicious meal ever invented, and of course, one meat is never enough, so More smart cousins who had not slept over, like Mary Kay, came for the good stuff, too... I was just too lazy and full to get up and move the liquor bottle out of the camera ' s way: Ha ha ha ha!... … View Post »

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Go take a look over there, because there are a couple video blogs that will make you pee your pants laughing... I worked for a veterinarian while I was in high school, and shortly after... We didn ' t start dating until I was 17, and I married that guy the day before I turned 20... Don ' t get married so young, people... Two oddball injuries as a kid: First, I stepped on a needle and it went into my foot, requiring surgery and four nights in the hospital... Then, I shot airplane glue into my eye while trying to glue a giant tootsie roll back together after I ' d opened it... My vision, man... Now, since the theme is sevens, I have to tag 7 people... … View Post »

Monday, October 27, 2008 Video update on bacteria potion beverage Well, if it isn ' t your lucky day!... The stoopid dumb thing is ten minutes long, so realistically, we all know that the only one of you who will watch it will be my mom... … View Post »

Sunday, October 26, 2008 Crazy Cat Lady runs a 5K race Remember how I said I was going to run in the St. Peter Halloween Fun Run?... And remember how I twittered about the fabulosity of my costume?... It ' s almost 3 a.m. the next day (long story!),... but here are the pictures I promised: Above, we have Sophia the angel, me the crazy cat lady, JohnHenry as some sort of nightmare clown that eats babies, and my brother Eddie as Ward Cleaver... The thong was a last-minute addition requiring a trip to Walmart at 10 p.m. on Friday... I ' m crossing the finish line, and making a face at my mom, who wielded the camera and took all these fine photos... One completed 5K under my belt, and I did it while carrying 400 pounds of clothing and another 300 pounds of hairspray... … View Post »

Sunday, October 19, 2008 Apple pickin ' time for goobers I don ' t know why I think this is so funny, but ever since the first time my brother did it years and years and years ago, I look forward to the event known as Take a Bite Out of an Apple and Leave it Hanging on the Tree for Other Families to Enjoy... Sophie ' s bite was particularly silly, because she is sporting the jacked-up, second-grade smile, with just half a front tooth to perform the operation... I liked this day so much... I had, no kidding, one hundred dollars in gift certificates for this place... The three of us could carry two peck bags of Haralson apples (which we picked ourselves), two 5-pound bags of Honeycrisps, two large pumpkins, a gallon jug of frozen cider, and a box of giant, horse-sized Hot Tamales for The First Baseman, who needed the cheering up after the Vikings ' very traumatic loss to the Bears... … View Post »

Saturday, October 18, 2008 Four Foods on Friday, even though it ' s now Saturday I missed this last week, because we left for vacation on Friday, and this week I ' m late... I passed Costco and saw gas at $2.84 and have had Costco on the brain since... Share a cupcake, muffin or cookie recipe... Apple Muffins 1 egg 1/2 cup vegetable oil 1/2 cup sugar 2-1/2 cups shredded apples 2 cups flour 4 tsp baking powder 1/2 t salt 1 t ground cinnamon 1/2 t ginger 1/4 t cloves 1/4 t allspice 1 c buttermilk 1/2 c brown sugar 2 T flour 2 T butter 1 t cinnamon Combine egg, oil, and sugar... Add to dry ingredients to the egg mixture a little at a time, alternating with the buttermilk... I like the regular ol ' normal size ones, usually, but I have mini muffin tins, too... … View Post »