For those of you not particularly versed in my brand of convoluted double-speak, I'm not in Canada anymore.

It's not so much that I got kicked out, per se, as it is that I was asked to hold up my end of a rather large, life altering bargain. That bargain was ...

I left you three years ago. In a cloud of righteous indignation, I packed my possessions into a van and my children onto an airplane and with that, I was gone. I never said goodbye to you, and I didn't much care.

My entire world changed when I left you. I saw ...

My kid learned how to read so he could play a video game.

After that, I never argued video games again. Maybe I'll decompose someday with Sonic Heroes in my head, but it'll be worth it, if for nothing more than that.

My family, we're gamers. Not me, exactly, but the rest ...

This weekend, I was blessed with a houseguest. And we did almost nothing. It was quite epic. But after the kids were put down for the night, after we'd drank The Donor under the table and he was good and passed out on the couch, we staggered upstairs to my ...